Severed | Glee

Chapter Ten

Santana tossed and turned all night. She kept getting flashbacks from the bathroom, but that scene would quickly transition into their fall out. Santana tried incredibly hard to only focus on the good part, but the awful memory had taken full control and repeated itself, over, and over.
"Did you really have to be that honest?"
"I'm sorry."
"You know, I always feel more alone when I see you now. Your blunt expression, the obvious signs that you're just not bothered anymore."
"I- I never meant for you to feel like that."
"But you did. Was our friendship just a joke to you? Because you sure as hell acted like it was."
"I really am sorry, but people part ways, it's just a way of life."
"I should have given up on you long ago, before you got the chance to hurt me any more than you already have."
That was the scene that always played through her head. That's the part she remembers every time she has to remember the fall out.
Santana stirred awake and groggily looked at her phone.
2:46 AM
She agitatedly placed it back down and stared at her dark ceiling.
Everything in her wanted to try and kiss Quinn again; sober.
Although a part of her heart told her it wouldn't work. This flashback, it's gotta be a warning. Sure, they're getting along now- probably more than they'd like, but clearly this flashback was a sign that in the end, it wouldn't work. Just like last time.
Santana moved her head to the side and looked at the desk. Her small stuffed bear sat there. It gave her a slight ounce of hope. Perhaps Quinn wouldn't of given it to her if she didn't think their friendship would last?
Or maybe she just felt bad?

_____

Quinn anxiously walked around her house. She remained quiet, silently suffering from what was clearly on her mind.
Puck emerged from his bedroom when he heard thr constant sound of Quinn walking around.
"Quinn? What are you doing?" he asked.
Quinn turned around with a heavy sigh.
"Nothing, don't worry," she said.
Puck didn't seem to buy it. He walked over to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"What's on your mind?" he wondered.
Shaking her head, Quinn moved away from Puck and put on a fake smile.
"Nothing, I promise everything's okay."
Puck clearly hadn't bought it- heck, Quinn didn't even buy it. But deciding not to go against her, Puck nodded and took a step back.
"Okay. If you ever need anything though, I'm always here," he said.
Quinn nodded ans cleared her throat.
"Thank you," she replied.
Puck left her alone and headed back to his room. Meanwhile Quinn began pacing around the place again, this time making sure she was much quieter.

"Why did you do that?"
"It was a mistake-"
"But why?"
"I just wanted to fit in with the others."
"So you did what you did? How cruel can you be, Q. Seriously-"
Quinn shook her head. She felt like ripping her hair out. Her heart was in a tremendous amount of pain.
Quinn leaned forward while she clutched her chest.
She didn't understand what was happening.
That memory, why would it just come out of nowhere?
Why was she all of a sudden physically hurting?
Puck emerged from his bedroom once again when the place went completely silent.
As soon as he noticed Quinn on the ground, he walked over with his head leaning to one side. He wasn't sure if she was crying or just sitting there.
"Q, you alright?" he asked as he knelt down beside ber.
Without warning Quinn wrapped her arms around Puck and tightly grabbed his back, digging her nails in.
"Did you wanna talk?" Puck wondered.
Quinn didn't respond.
Puck and Quinn remained on the floor for a good few minutes longer. Nothing Puck said seemed to have even gotten Quinn close to talking.

_____

"Where is she?" Bree asked as she walked into the house.
P

uck walked over to her and then gestured down to Quinn's bedroom.
"I don't know what's wrong. She won't say a single word to me," he informed.
Bree placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it firmly before walking into Quinn's bedroom.
Puck remained in the hallway. He slid down the wall and placed his face in his palms.
Bree's eyes lowered when she saw Quinn laying on her bed. She took a seat on the edge and placed a hand on Quinn's leg, where she then began to rub soothing motions.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
Quinn groaned and buried her face in her pillow. She felt embarrassed for causing such a pathetic scene.
"What happened today, Quinn?" Bree wondered.
'I don't know," Quinn's muffled voice replied.
"Do you want to talk about it? Or is there anything else we could do to provide what you need in the moment?"
Bree only spoke in a hushed tone, figuring it'd be the easiest way to communicate with someone who clearly wasn't currently happy.
Quinn rolled over and looked at Bree.
"We can talk," she said.
Bree nodded. "Do you know what caused your brain to shutdown?"
Quinn thought about it then shook her head. "Too many things," she replied.
"Would it be okay if you told me? That way I know what to and not to say to you," Bree said.
It was obvious Quinn was struggling to find the words. She took a deep breath and tried her best to explain.
"It's just...,  it's Santana. You know everything worked out amazing when we were younger, then I ruined it all, and now we're finally friends again. It all feels rushed, like we didn't take the right amount of time to get the feel of it again. What if I ruin everything again?" Quinn answered.
"Well, let me ask you this," Bree began. "Is it that you really do feel like it's all rushed, or is it that you feel guilty and like this friendship shouldn't work out?"
Quinn didn't answer. Instead she closed her eyes and pondered on the question. She was certain it was the first question, but something told her otherwise.
She opened her eyes and shamefully looked at Bree.
"It's that I feel guilty," she confessed.
Bree paid very close attention to her tone and facial expressions. She raised a curious eyebrow and whispered.
"Is there something else that has you distraught?" she asked.
Quinn didn't understand what she was talking about. Her eyes widened and her chest began to hurt again.
Did Bree know she and Santana almost had an intimate moment?
Did Santana say something and word got around?
"What are you talking about?" Quinn nervously wondered.
"Listen, all I'm gonna say is that people don't shut down because of guilt. This is something I won't pressure you to talk about, but whatever it is, just know I'm here for and with you" Bree said.
Quinn gently smiled then sighed.
"Thank you for being here," she said.
Bree nodded.
"Of course. I'll go make you a hot drink, okay?"
Bree hopped off Quinn's bed and headed to the door before turning back.
"I'm really sorry for rushing you into this, " she said.
Quinn chuckled and shook her head.
"Don't sweat," she replied.
Bree faintly smiled then left the room. Quinn's face went blank while she focused on her own thoughts.
She did feel guilty. Guilty for destroying everything and then acting as if nothing had happened. Sure, she apologised, but apologies can only do so much. And both people would soon learn that.