𓈊 Valeriana

22

This chapter takes place two days after the last one.

I also wrote this chapter to a Phasmo stream, and because I was watching a Phasmo stream there is Phasmophobia in this chapter

CWs/TWs: PPD (post-partum depression), mentioned death, mentioned sh/suicide, panic attacks, meltdowns,

.•°*°•.

Lizzie refused to eat the morning after she and Joel got home from the hospital, and she refused to shower or change her clothes or even get out of bed.

"Liz, I know it's hard," Joel whispered, sitting next to her on their bed as she faced the opposite direction, "but we have so many other chances to have kids. Hell, we're twenty-two years old. We have at the very least ten years to try."

Lizzie sniffled. "What's the point?" she mumbled, and Joel frowned. "First, I lost my mother. Then I lost Father. I don't have any grandparents or aunts and uncles or cousins. Now I've lost my baby-" She cut herself off to sob. "Jimmy's hurting himself, which means he could take his own life whenever he wants to. Grian could die from cancer. You could overwork and exhaust yourself to death-" She cried again. "I'm going to lose everyone."

Joel sighed. "I know how that feels," he said quietly. "I watched as both of my parents died and I was left all alone to fend for myself. I, well obviously, never had a miscarriage, but..." He took a deep breath. "I know what it feels like to think I might lose everybody I love. But guess what? I still have you. And I still have Grian and Jimmy and Scar and Mumbo. I still have my family, and you still have us. Even if one day we do all disappear, we have each other now in this moment. Isn't that what matters?"

Lizzie turned to face him, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Joel..." She paused, then tossed herself at him, slamming him against the bed in a tight hug. "I love you so much," she wailed. "I love you, I love you, I love you-"

Joel smiled as she babbled on and on about how much she loved him, sobbing into his shoulder. I love you more, Lizzie, he thought. More than you could ever imagine.

.•°*°•.

Jimmy yawned as he walked down the stairs, half expecting to smell breakfast. He guessed a part of him still thought Daniel was alive. Or maybe hoped he was.

The kitchen was pretty empty since he'd gotten rid of the table and chairs so he could get new ones. He didn't like the idea of being stuck with memories of his father every time he sat down to eat. He did want to remember his dad, but he didn't want to cry all the time either.

He'd already sold most of the furniture since he wanted to completely renovate the house. He liked the homey feel of how it looked before but he wanted to have more of a blank slate for Scott to be creative and do what they wanted with the decorations. Jimmy wasn't the best at decorating anyway.

He grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard and went into the living room, sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV. He was exhausted from watching over Scar and Grian the last couple of days (those two were basically giant toddlers if they weren't kept in check by Joel), and he needed some time to relax and recharge his battery. So he turned on Mean Girls. It was one of Scott's favourite movies and they'd been trying for forever to get him to watch it.

No better time than when he needed lazy entertainment.

.•°*°•.

Scott was wreck.

They didn't know why, but they could not get a grip on themselves long enough to just breathe normally. He was having panic attack after panic attack after panic attack, and it was terrifying. They were exhausted and shaking and they could hardly breathe as they sat huddled in the corner of their bedroom, squeezing a pillow tightly in attempt to ground himself but it wasn't exactly working.