Slowly (Sydney Novak x reader)

You and I

The sun was shining outside, but the clouds obscured it just enough so it wasn't beating down so badly. The town was silent. Save for the arguing currently happing behind an old building by the train tracks.

"i'm not entitled to know anything about you? syd, i barely know anything about you as it is. i know what you've told me and a few things i've picked up here and there but not much else. the reality is, i don't actually know you the way i should and it's-"

"the way you should? what is that supposed to fucking mean?"

"it means you and i have something here. and i thought it could turn into something more but how can it if i don't really know who you are?"

"there's just things that aren't your business. i don't know why you feel so fucking concerned about things you don't need to know."

"i'm concerned because it keeps you from me. you've been avoiding me for two weeks and i don't know why and neither does anyone else. i don't see you anymore, you won't talk to me-" she was cut off by a scoff.

"jesus, could you sound more fucking insecure? you don't need to be by my side every fucking minute. are you really that goddamn clingy?"

y/n stared at sydney. there was no emotion in her eyes. sydney inwardly flinched at the lack of emotion she saw from y/n. she had never seen that side of her.

"fuck you, sydney."

She turned on her heel and left. Sydney stood there watching her leave. Everything in her screamed at her to go after her. But her legs didn't move. She knew she needed to stay away until she get herself under control. She couldn't even control her words to y/n. She didn't mean anything she said. She didn't think she was insecure. She didn't think she was clingy, if anything sydney wanted her to be. But she didn't know how else to keep her safe from her impulses. She sighed and slid down the wall, she pulled her knees to her chest. She put her head in her hands and started to silently cry.

'i just fucked up everything more. what the fuck is wrong with me?'

'everything.'

-two weeks ago

After that kiss, sydney found herself completely distracted. She couldn't think about anything else. It drove her crazy. Right now, she was at home laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. Her cheeks were pink as she replayed the memory in her head. She shut her eyes tightly and groaned. 'i have to stop thinking about it so much. It's driving me insane.'

The thing is, ever since the kiss, sydney has been wanting more of y/n. Everything about her draws her in. Her smile, her hair, her hands.

Her body.

But sydney didn't want to think of her that way, it made her feel creepy. 'jesus, if she knew what i was thinking she would never want to talk to me again.'

Because of this, it put her emotions at a high and her emotional state isn't something that should be out of control. If sydney thought about y/n too much in a certain way, her powers would get a little crazy. Not insane like before, but enough to be noticed. She didn't want y/n to know about them. She didn't know how she would react to them and until sydney could figure out how to tell her she didn't want her to know at all.

Which meant avoiding y/n. Whenever she was around her, she wanted to kiss her. And when she kissed her, she wanted more. She hated herself for thinking about her like this. She thought it was too early and thought y/n didn't think of her this way.

But y/n did. Sydney drove her crazy, too. The problem is sydney is now avoiding y/n, which makes her think sydney doesn't want her in that way or any way. At first, she chalked it up to being busy and just life getting the way. But once a week passed, she got suspicious. She asked stan if he knew anything and he said no.

"the last time we hung out nothing seemed off. she seemed like herself."

"when did you last hang out?"

"umm, like two days ago? she just showed up."

"oh..well okay. thanks, stan." Stanley nodded and gave her a sympathetic look. He knew something was up but he didn't want to pry because y/n looked hurt from hearing sydney came to see him.

A week turned into two weeks and brought them here. To the argument.

-now

"i'm not gonna waste my fucking time worrying about this shit anymore." Y/n mumbled to herself as she walked home. Her heart ached and with every step she took, she felt sick. How could sydney say those things to her? How could she be so mean? How could she just not care? She didn't know. She shook her head and let out a heavy sigh and continued walking. When she arrived at home, she walked straight to her room and packed an overnight bag. She was going to go stay with her aunt that lived just outside of town. She didn't want to be in town right now.

She let her parents know and called her aunt.

"of course you can come, sweetie! i'll go ahead and start dinner so it's nice and ready for when you get here." She smiled. She loved her aunt. She was one of the few people she felt she could always go to. She got in her car and drove away, never looking back at the town that was now growing smaller in the rear view mirror. She just wanted to leave. She didn't tell anyone but her parents she was leaving, she was already off from work so that wasn't an issue either.

She just needed to go away for a bit. She didn't tell sydney or even give her an indication she was leaving. 'it's not as if sydney will even care.'

But she did. In fact, sydney saw her driving away. She was walking home when she notice her car drive past her. She was going too fast to notice sydney as she drove by. That was something that made sydney feel uneasy. She furrowed her brow and took out her phone and called her. No answer. She tried again. No answer. She frowned. She called stan to see if he knew anything.

He told her about her visit to him a week ago asking about sydney and that she seemed really sad but he didn't pry into the situation. She just signed and hung up. 'what the fuck did i do...'

'you ruined everything. like always.'

hey guys. i'm so sorry about the extremely late update. while i have been dealing with my personal situation, i have been feeling much better. i just hadn't had the motivation to write and i hit a bad writers block. however, i've moved past it and was able to write finally. sorry for the angst but i promise it'll lead to some great moments in the book. how do you all feel about a potential lime/lemon in the future? lemme know your thoughts on that. anyways, thank you for reading and being so patient wit me and for the words of support, you all mean so much to me. i hope to be updating more frequently or at the very least without more than a month between chapters. i'll see you all in the next one!