Reddit Stories

By: Kitchen-Lawyer-5625

I (31F) and husband (31M) have been together for eight years and married for seven. We got married fairly quickly (after eleven months) due to him rejoining the military in the middle of our relationship and the long distance was not working for us.

He never pretended to be anything other than who he is today, so that is my bad. He's a BIG gamer, and I don't have an issue with having a healthy hobby but he plays for hours every single night in lieu of spending time with me. He refuses to find a hobby that we can share together. I tried gaming and it just isn't for me, there's a couple games I will play with him from time to time but again I'm just not crazy about it personally. He's not romantic, he never buys me gifts on holidays including my birthday or Christmas. I put so much thought into his gifts and I spoil him every year. But he can't be bothered for me. It's been a lonely eight years. I don't feel seen, I don't feel loved, I just feel so alone. And the worst part is, he is happy. I give him everything, I let him do what he wants, I had stopped complaining or asking for time together (until last night). So he's all good. He wouldn't change a thing, according to him.

So last night he sits down at the computer. I ask, "hey baby? Tomorrow night can we dedicate to just us and spend some time together?" He takes this as an ATTACK and goes on the defensive. He sighs and stands up, and says, "I guess I won't play tonight!" And I insisted that he play and that I don't have a problem with it, that I was asking about tomorrow night. He plops into the chair next to me and starts pouting and giving me attitude. Anything I would say he'd snap at me so I said, "baby PLEASE go play" and he yells back "I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT NOW". It was like he wanted to punish me by not playing. He wanted to make sure that spending time with him was miserable for the both of us. I can't tell you how many times I tried to reason with him and explain that I was talking about not gaming tomorrow night (tonight) and that he could play tonight (last night). He wasn't having it. So I had to remove myself from the situation and I laid down to go to bed. He came in a short while later and I forgot I had my makeup on so I got up to get ready for bed. When I come out of the bathroom he goes, "baby can I ask you something?" I said yes. He asks, "did you know you were going to piss me off by asking me that?" I was blown away. All I could say was wow. And he goes "did you?!" And I say, "no, I in fact did not think that asking you to spend time with me would piss you off." And he said, "I'm not supposed to be angry by what you did?" What I did?!? He says this as if I kicked a puppy or something..."what I did"???? After he said that I lost it and said "I don't think we should be together anymore" and I locked myself in the bathroom and sat in there for a good thirty minutes remaining calm and trying to gather my thoughts. After that I got into bed and we didn't speak, but we also couldn't sleep either.

We haven't really talked today but he did kiss me on the head once earlier today and said he loved me. But we didn't spend any time together tonight like I initially requested, so I didn't get what I wanted tonight OR last night.

I don't know if I want to do this anymore. I love him. I'll never not love him, I don't think. But when is enough, enough? Should I keep trying? Anyone go through something similar?