When they decide to leave, it's after Ava has yawned three times in the space of a minute. She protests, of course, but Beatrice reminds her that they do really have time. And so they make their way back, Ava having to lead, because Beatrice can retrace their steps only so far.
"You don't have to look so nervous," Ava informs her, noticing her changing expression the closer they get to the apartment. "I promise I won't jump you the second we get inside."
"Ava," she gasps, scandalised.
Ava laughs. "You're safe with me," she says, which cuts into Beatrice in a way she didn't expect.
"I wasn't, before," she says, tone solemn. "My heart wasn't safe. You broke it when you left me."
Ava stops walking quite abruptly, Beatrice forced to come to a halt as well. "You know that, if I had a choice, I would never have left you," she says, her tone slightly defensive. "If it was just about me; if you and Camilla and Mary and Mother Superion hadn't worked your way into my dead heart and forced me to care about you and this stupid world, you know I would have let the globe burn to the ground if it meant getting to stay with you forever." She lets out a shaky breath. "But you said no when I asked."
Beatrice remembers that, Ava's little hope dashed so unceremoniously. She's not proud of it, but she was admonishing her own actions more than anything; criticising her own selfishness. Because, even then, it terrified her that she would sacrifice the rest of the world if it meant that Ava would live.
"So you decided that dying was the only option?" Beatrice asks, because she learned later that Ava did not, in fact, feel the same way about her own mortality.
"If it meant you would get to live, then yes," she answers immediately. "Without a doubt. Barely a thought to it. You claim you would die for me, so why can't the same be true for me?"
"Because the world needs the Warrior Nun."
"Yeah, well, I need you, so it looks like we're both fucked."
"What?" Beatrice asks, bemused. "What are we even fighting about? Are we even fighting?"
"Can you just tell me you love me again, and then we can go to bed and figure out the rest of our lives in the morning?"
Beatrice just smiles, getting them moving again. She holds off on any declaration until they're safely tucked away in said bed, Ava's body curled towards her, eyes struggling to stay open in a self-confessed effort to keep looking at Beatrice. Beatrice disappeared into the bathroom after Ava, showering after a long day of travel and revelations, and she exited to find Ava already in bed, a journal in her lap, writing slowly. Ava made a joke, inviting her into bed, and now here they are.
"Told you I wouldn't jump you," Ava whispers, smiling softly. "I'm classier than that."
"But you want to?" Beatrice questions, curious about this development.
"Oh. So badly." She puffs out a breath, minty fresh. "Have you seen you?" she asks. "You're this super hot, badass, insanely smart, totally dangerous, absolutely gorgeous, tactical nun. I'd be an idiot not to."
Beatrice flushes madly. "But we've already established you are an idiot."
"Hush."
Beatrice chuckles. "Try to get some sleep, okay?" she says. "I'll be here in the morning."
Ava reaches out, hand curling into Beatrice's old t-shirt. She holds the fabric tightly, not letting go. "Promise?" she asks, and she sounds so much younger.
Beatrice shifts close enough to be able to wrap her around Ava's body, marvelling at how normal she feels in this moment. Ava sighs against her, the tip of her nose pressed against her neck. Beatrice doesn't know how she's meant to get any sleep like this but, when she does eventually drift off, it's the best sleep she's had in weeks.
