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They had finally watched When Harry Met Sally. Elijah had tried to kiss her again, she was very angry - telling him that he had to pay attention because it was her favourite and to save it for after, which he did. It was a much longer kiss that time. She hoped she wasn't awful, she didn't know if she was doing it right. Judging by the fact he kept kissing her she assumed that it was fine . . . or he just couldn't tell, that was also very likely. He was a good kisser, not that she had anything to compare it to - she wondered if he had kissed anyone else before. She wondered if they were better than she was, if he compared her to them.
They sat on the sofa in his house and she asked him what he thought of the movie. Instead of replying he leaned over, hand on her cheek turning her head to face him, and kissed her. He pulled away with a grin and she rolled her eyes saying that it didn't distract her from the fact that he didn't give her an answer. He still didn't, he just kissed her again and she kissed him back - bringing both hands to rest at the back of his neck, fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck.
It was slightly awkward at first, very stiff. Then after a couple of minutes, they relaxed into it. He had brought his other hand to her jaw and she moved hers so they both rested behind his neck. They figured out how to tilt their heads in rhythm. It was very methodical at first, both just trying to decide what worked best but when they found something that felt right they were able to stop thinking and just enjoy it.
They had only stopped because she had to go home, she hoped her mum wouldn't be able to see that her lips were a lot more pink (she did but didn't bring it up, just laughed to herself).
They didn't talk about it, they never did. They had kissed more since then, always in secret - always without discussion, it was just something that happened. He'd openly flirt with her and, even when Robert pointed it out calling it 'gross', Elijah would just say that he could flirt with her if he wanted to. She was very confused, he was confusing. She didn't know what he wanted but she didn't care. He was kissing her and it was all she had ever wanted.
It wasn't even that she was kissing Elijah, it was the fact that anyone wanted to kiss her. She was beginning to lose hope that she'd ever find someone; then she did and she didn't want to ruin it. She thought that if she acknowledged it then it would stop and she never wanted it to stop. It wasn't hard to do, she'd see Elijah and forget everything except that there was a possibility that he'd kiss her again. She didn't care about anything else. She didn't need an explanation, she just knew that she was happy and she never wanted that feeling to end.
She could blame him, she didn't speak about it either. She was scared that he didn't feel the same. She could talk to him about anything but that. He obviously liked her, though, she still doubted it sometimes - wondering if she was just there. That he simply kissed her because he could, that she was the easiest option, and not because he liked her. She liked to think that he wasn't like that but it was an easy rabbit hole to fall down. Especially when it would only happen when they were alone.
