Cookie Crumbs · dkbk/bkdk

Sin - Fluff, Angst if you squint

(read; desperate yearning)

The air hung heavy.

It was warm, almost stuffily so, despite the comforting smell of incense lingering in fumes of thinly layered fog overhead. The flipping of the page sounded like the feathers ruffling off of doves, whispering together as a calculated hand found its place.

Izuku readjusted his collar for the fifth time that hour, shifting his stance from one foot to the other, the stained glass cascading over the floorboards in kaleidoscope images drawn from the sun, broken over by the shadows of saints but mostly sinners passing by.

The voice rose once more as the man on the altar lifted the bible in his hands and began to praise, looking up towards the heavens as if pleading to his maker. He sounded renowned, imperative in the way he spoke, as if breaking down the barriers of the sky and reaching above.

Flames danced in the hands of deacons holding thin candles to their chests, robes lining the sides around the man who brought down wishes for blessing and peace for all present.

Izuku wouldn't deny that he believed this all, as ridiculous as it may have seemed. He believed in it all. He knew there was a higher power, witnessing the loneliness and pleading of those below. He understood that there were those given challenges and battles to greatness and protection came along with it, everything planned out and prepared with multiple roads divulging into different endings. He believed it was the good in the evil, despite how morally gray some edges may appear. He knew it was a guide to life and that it held meaning, gave power. And perhaps he found it sadistic, someone just observing everybody at their worst points, but he couldn't deny that there was someone there. Someone watching his debauched exile of everyday life and giving a guiding hand, creaking over prayers addressed to them alone.

The tiny cross on his necklace burned against his chest beneath the layers he wore. For even if he believed it all, he also believed he was horrid for this goreish admiration that wound up inside of the hollows of his heart for the young man standing beside him; basked in gold like that of an angel. He also believed said horrid love was gifted to him as a curse from said higher power since it went against absolutely everything he'd been taught.

Katsuki's eyes remained forwards, hands held in front of himself, clasped together as his hair cascaded slightly before his eyes, darkening his carmine gaze into something close to that of the wine that lay before them in its golden chalice. His pale skin earned a shimmering pallor beneath the chandeliers and grey sunlight, darkening around his high cheekbones and sharp jawline. Baby pink lips parting as he waited to speak, pearly white teeth with pointy edged canines that were just a bit more pronounced than that of others.

"Hear us as we say, Our Father who-"

"Art in heaven." Katsuki began, slanting his gaze to the man on his left, looking up through his flaxen lashes and catching his look with a bit of a playful glint despite his hand gesturing for him to repeat as everyone else did in the chapel. Izuku opened his mouth to follow suit, the prayer dribbling from his lips like water from a stream, well practiced and knowing exactly where to go through the motions. Voices echoed his own but their paces were all off, some held desperation in their tone while others monotony. And his eyes refused to remain forward as he and Katsuki stared at each other for a moment, before looking away, their shoulders brushing as Izuku straightened up in his stance.

They skirted around whatever this was. Whatever these feelings were, and held their mothers hands during praises and hymns, singing that of which they knew by heart before sneaking off together up into the rafter-like pews upstairs when the chapel emptied of its occupants.

They inhaled the smokey air into their lungs and fought against their better natures. Against their urges.

Standing beside one another during mass felt sinful in its own right, sweat prickling the back of Izuku's neck as he had the oddly creeping feeling that everyone around them could see into his very soul and pick out the very flaw that seemed very obvious in his own eyes. He felt as though the priest would point him out and say "You, right there, you. I know what you are, what you've done within these holy walls. May you be banished into hell for your acts."

He felt as though any minute he'd be outed and condemned.

Condemned for taking a well respected holy man in the making and pressing him to the wall of the coat-room just outside of the sanctuary,

Condemned for running his hands up Katsuki's thin waist and squeezing it firmly between his palms like that of Eve reaching for the tree wound by the serpent.

Condemned for pressing their lips together as the choir sang their beginning hymnal just outside the door that early morning; tasting the forbidden fruit that is his attraction for men. For this man.

Katsuki.

Oh Katsuki.

"Kacchan." He says the name as if hiding his sin, not using the given name he'd been baptised with for fear it'd scald his tongue and envelop him in the fires of hell.

"Deku." The other would breathe, hand burning against the back of Izuku's neck and tangling into his curls, pulling him back up to get more. Their lips moving soft and slow, into that of a lovers kiss despite neither resembling that of a respectable relationship.

Izuku was positive that Katsuki Bakugou was a test from God, a temptation of sin. That or he was the Devil himself, encouraging carnal passion into his loins and love deep into his heart.

And Izuku Midoriya was all the more sure that no matter how hard he resisted and fought against it, he was smitten.

(tbc?)

(A/N: i find it important to add that i do believe the original translation was "man shall not sleep with boy" in which it was addressing pedophelia and not being homosexual. I in no way think that we'd be given this love for others just for their to be rules according to gender, that'd be stupid; but as a kid who had a close relationship with the church, this really stuck to me since i felt horrible whenever they would condemn homosexuality, feeling like i didnt really belong)