My boy- Bill Kaulitz

Am i falling for him?

***

We all arrive at mine and bills house. I see that the was the same before. It looked empty, and dull. I slowly walk in with bills arm wrapped around my waist. I sit on the couch, my stomach rumbling because I haven't eaten in three days. Bill sots next to me and Tom sits across, Gustav and George in the kitchen getting drinks. The silence lasted for a few seconds until Tom says "W- we thought you were dead." He says giggling under the pain. I look at bills worried face, with a straight face then back at Tom. I don't say anything, this doesn't feel real, to real. It happened all so fast, I did not feel anymore

Tom looks confused, "Do you want to talk about it?" Bill says sitting up and resting his hand on my shoulder, but I don't talk, my face expressions don't change. Bill looks at Tom. 'Just give her time' tom mouths to bill.

I stand up and walk over to my room. I close the door behind me, and let out a long sigh. Resting my back in the door, I look at my room. The bed I would lay on with bill and Evelyn while watching a comedy. Not anymore, not ever again. I go over to my dresser I grab a black T- shirt and sweat pants. I go over to the bathroom in my room and close the door. I put the clothes on the counter then start to get out of the hospital gown. Thinking about how I ran out of Kyles house, the smirks on the old man's face. I shiver at the thought of it again. I turn on the shower.

I start to unwrap the white stains red tissue around my wrist, I wince at I see the deep cuts. I get nauseous, I run to the toilet and let it out. I gasp out of breath. I flush and stand up. I get in the shower. I feel a little better knowing I'm clean. Not only physically but mentally too.  The warm water hits my face, I let out a small smile. I was happy now that I'm home. But my mood quickly changes, I don't know how. I thought of how Kyle treated me, My child, my body. Fuck him. Fuck everything. I let out a loud frustrated grunt. I start to calm down, I put blossom scented shampoo in my hair, I see brown rusty blood go down the drain, not much though. My wrist burn from the hot water, but I don't care. I wanted this moment to last.

BILLS POV:

Regan stands up and leaves, not saying a word to me nor Tom. What's wrong with her, I mean of course she just got kidnapped. But what in the world did that man do to her that made her react in such a way. My mind drifts off to another place. "Hey bill, are you okay?" I hear tom say to me in a soft voice. I slowly turn my head to him. "Wasn't she acting weird?" I say to him. "Bill you need to calm down. Give her some time. She was kidnapped, she's in shock." Toms says as I hear the sound of a shower running. "Tom... she tried to kill her self.." I say, cracks in my voice, tears in my eyes. "I know bill... I know." He says nodding.

"What do we do now?" I ask "We wait. We wait until she starts to feel like talking." He says sitting back. "That could be... how long exactly?" I say "It depends on how badly that man treated her, what he did to her." I sigh. I really wanted to know what that man did to her. But at the same time I absolutely did not want to even think about what he has done. "Drinks boys?" I hear George say holding up whiskey. "Sure." I say sighing.

They pour me a few shots, we all start talking and laughing. Until I hear a loud noise, almost like a crash. It sounded like glass breaking. We all stop and freeze. I run to the room and see Regan, she in the bed room. She knocked over all the vases and broke almost everything in the room. She slowly turns around. Still with that same look on her face. Not reacting, her hands here red, and her wrist-  was she cutting herself again? "Your- Regan? Wh-what happened?!" I saw just shocked. She walks past me and says nothing. I grab her arm and she quickly pulls back "Regan please stop this. Talk to me!" She doesn't change, doesn't talk. She walks backs up and walks over to Evelyn room. I sigh, knowing something is wrong with her.

MY POV:

I get out of the shower and put my clothes on. I can hear the boys loud laughter and chatter outside of the room. It makes me angry, knowing they are having a good time when I got raped the other day. I know they don't know that but they should still ask. I get so angry I start to shove glass vases in the ground and I pushed the dresser over in the bed. I saw bill barge in. I slowly turn to face him, she scans my body and face. Damp hair, sliced wrist, red knuckles. "Your- wh- what happened?!" He says with a worried and shocked look. I don't talk to him, I try to walk past him but he grabs my arm, I quickly pull away, "Regan stop this. Talk to me!" He says. I stand there for a second. I look I his eyes, then I walk to Evelyn room. I feel his presence of his eyes seeping into the back of my skull. I open the door and close it behind me.

I see her crib, her pink painted walls, her box of stuffed animals. I take a breath in, the smell. It smells dull and empty. My stomach gets queasy. I feel like throwing up again, but I don't. I scan her room, all the memories we had in her short little life. I feel my body slowly start to give up. I speed walk onto the door, I crash to the door and fall. My legs were weak. I stood up, forcing my body to walk. I walk my way to the couch, I see all the boys eyes on mine. I was holding on to a desk in the doorframe. I start to fall again, tom quickly sets his drink down and rushes to help me. "My legs." I say faintly. It was mostly my inner thighs and my feet. I can feel the pressure of the way Kyle raped me, My thighs hurts so bad because of that. "It's gonna be ok.. just breathe." I hear his soft voice. He picks me us bridal style and looks I'm my eyes, he looks into mine. He has changes, more mature than before. I feel like I can trust him, am I falling for him? No! I love bill. Do I? Yes I do.. hmm? My eyes are barely open but I try to keep them open to look at Tom. He was a sight for sore eyes that's for sure. His black braids, bandana, black lip piercing, tight sweaters. He definitely looked different than last year, and the year before that. He lays me on the couch and sits next to me.

"What did he do to you Regan? Im not going to pressure you to say anything. But if you want to say anything right now, I'm here." I look back at bill l, I see his angry face,  like he was frustrated at me or something. But I did not care. I started to whisper to Tom so the boys couldn't hear me. "H- he r-..." I did not say anything after that. "Three times." I say. Toms face stays straight, but his eye's slightly get bigger. "Anything else?" He says in a soft tone. "Yes..." I say coldly. He nods, in a was to say 'continue..' then I say. "He shot me... shot Evelyn. Uhh- I slit my wrist.. tried to escape Tom.. I tried! but he wouldn't let me!" I started sobbing. I saw the fear in his eyes. Knowing I went through that, he felt bad and scared for me. He is treating me so much better than bill. I think I want Tom. "It will get better soon, I promise." He says and hugs me a little. Bill looks at him and they all start huddling up and talking, probably about what I just told him.

I drift off into my own world. My body slowly giving up on me. I fall asleep. Maybe?

A/N: THIS TOOK FOREVER! DW we get better with bill I promise!! I WILL TRY TO UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN!! LOVE YALL THANKS FOR READING AND STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! LY STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY🙌💕