My boy- Bill Kaulitz

The news

I look at them and nod, telling them to continue.. "Us four are in a band!!" They all say, besides bill, he's still upset.. "WOW!! That's great!" Now I know why girls where going crazy over Tom and Bill. We all hang out, talk and I get to know the other two boys a bit more, Gustav and George. We drink and Tom invites more and more people turning into a party. Bill does not really show up much. Girls are all over him but he doesn't show much affection. I try to find Tom over all the loud music, but I walk over and see Tom, not only Tom but him kissing a brunette girl, I feel the tears in my eyes start to form and I run out of there, I stumble out of his house and run to the near by pond with a park.

I cry and have a breakdown, I think about doing it again. Self harm is just my way of saying "I want to live but please spare me a life to die" I hear someone scream my name as I cry there on the grass with the sky gloomy and blue.. "REGAN?! IS THAT YOU?" I turn and see "Bill?" I say as tears clog up my words.. "Hey are you ok? What- what happend!?" He walk over to me and hugs me, I hug him back.. this is the first time he has talked to me in forever.. "To-Tom!" He looks at me and scoffs. "What did he do to you.. -that fucking bitch-" he says and whispers those words after.. "He was kissing a girl.. and - he-he's dat-ing me!!" Bill looks at me and hugs me even tighter I look up at him "Don't you hate me or something?" I looks at me mad "I never, ever hated you.." he says and looks into my teary eyes "But you never answered my calls and text and ignored me for weeks.. why?"  He looks at me deeper into my eyes, and he wipes me tears with his hand.

" Well I don't think I can tell you." He says "Bill please you can tell me anything." I beg him until he finally agrees "Fine fine.. I will tell you.." she inhaled feet and exhaled "So to tell you the truth.. I might like you.. and I know it's wrong, you love Tom and I have to understand that.." I start to cry more knowing damn well I hate Tom with my whole heart now... AND TOM WAS NOT EVEN DRINKING!! HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING! "Bill.." I saw and blush "I don't want to be with Tom anymore, not ever again.. after what he did to me.." he looks at me and lifts up my chin and smiles.. those eyes.. I can fall asleep looking into them for hours, we don't break eye contact but instead he leans in.. into the most deep, passionate kiss ever. His lips where so soft on mine, and his tongue to, I felt his tongue piercing against the inside of my mouth.. I moan softly as he grabs my waist pulling the kiss deeper, until we get interrupted by someone screaming at... US!?

OH SHIT.. it was Tom.

He runs over to me and bill and we stand up. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN!" Tom screams at bill.. "Don't act like you did not just cheat on her.." bill says "WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT?!" He screams at bill "Yeah the girl you where kissing, not even drunk?" He looks ashamed and angry.. he pushes bill to the ground and I stop him from doing anything else to him. "TOM! STOP." I yell "What the hell do you want, making out with my brother like that, why did you never kiss me like that?!" He asked and moved away from bill on the floor "Because Tom.. you cheated on me.. wtf do YOU mean." He starts to cry and apologizes, his words hurt my heart.. he kneels down on the floor crying "PLEASE REGAN!! I DID NOT MEAN TO.. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! ILL DO A-ANYTHING!" He begs for forgiveness but I can't even process right now.. I leave him there crying on the ground.. I get bill and we go to my house instead.. js to be safe.

I walk inside.. I start to have a panic attack, bill is looking away kicking off his shoes or whatever "Bi-bill! I can't- can't breathe..!" I fast for air and he turns to me with fear in his eyes. "REGAN!?" He yells and walk over to me and lays me in the couch, "In and out, take it slowly.." he's so gentle with me.. I start to cool off, I've been having pain attacks for about 2 years now, I have not had one in a while.. bill gets up from the couch and gets me water. We watch a few movies then after about 2 hours pass by and I tell bill I'm going to take a shower, but I had other plans.. I go to my dads room and open a drawer, I grab his blade and start to dig the sharp metal into my arms and legs, I bleed all over the bathroom floor, I moan because of the pain, "SHIT!" I yell but not to loud. I clean the blood and run to my room with blood all over my body, and I take a shower, the blood runs down the drain.. the water burn my cuts so bad, but I push through.. and I get out of the shower and but on a baggy hoodie and sweat pants. Then I go back to see bill sitting in the couch.

"HEYY!! What show should we watch next? Scream? Titanic? Hmm?" He says excitedly not even knowing what I just did not myself, I sit on the couch gently, sitting not close to bill, he looks confused at me but ignores it, he just scoots closer to me, "Titanic!" I say, he flicks on the move and we watch about 20 mins of it, he puts his hand on my thigh making me gasp and whimper in pain. He takes his hand off quickly and asks "What's wrong? Dose it hurt?" And he sits up "Mm- all g-good.." I say in a very brief way that can easily tell I'm lying.. "You sure what wrong?" And he grabs my arm. At that point I scream and stand up. He looks at me and understands what is going on.. "Regan tell me you did not.." and he starts to tear up.

A/N:

SO I GOT BORED.. I'm going to make another part and go to bed.. I want y'all to know that if anybody out there is dealing with the same problems I'm so sorry.. it will get better ❤️‍🩹 LYSMM STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY MLL💕💕💕💕😭