My boy- Bill Kaulitz

Are we better now?

***

I wake up to someone gently shaking my arm. "Regan!? Regan?! Wake up" it was Gustav, he whispered in a loud tone. I slowly wake up, "hmm?! I'm awake! I'm awake!!" I said taking a deep breath in and sitting up. "Wh- what happend? Is everything ok?" I ask rubbing my hand on my head. "Yeah everything is fine... but uhh. How do I say this? hmm.." he try's to stall. I was curious. I wanted to know what was going on. "Just spit it out Gustav!" I yell, kinda sarcastic at the same time. "Okay so.. bill and Tom got into this huge fight. And it was about how there is something wrong with you. And he told us what that man did to you.. and uhh."

I sat there, I giggled to myself. It was kinda funny to think bill and Tom arguing about me. "What's so funny?" He asks. I start to laugh harder, I was laughing through the pain, thinking of how u tried to kill myself TWICE and failed. "I want to die Gustav... isn't that funny?" I say still laughing. Gustav  shakes his head 'no' "Regan? I know your still processing all of what happened.. it okay to be upset or sad." My laughter died down. He rest his hand on my thigh, I look up at him with a serious face. He smiles then gets up, I grab his arm before he could go anywhere. "Wait! Where is everyone else?" I ask and stood up to but fell back to the couch. 'Right my legs..' "Uhh George is here and Tom is too. But bill.. no one knows we're he is." I nodded then let go of his arm, and he walked off..

I sigh and try to stand up again, I needed to wrap my wrist and shot wound before they get infected.. even more. I grab the table in front of me and fail. I try again and mostly dragged myself to my room. I open the door, glass shattered all over the floor, and wood broken. I smiled. It was so funny to me, I had no idea why. I chuckled then went to my bathroom. I saw the clock in my room and it read '9:23' it was pretty early. I grabbed some white bandages and wrapped my arm in it. Making sure to put disinfecting ointment on it then wrapping them. I took off my shirt and started to wrap my shoulder, blood crusted around the wound. It look like the bullet went right through it. I winced a few times adding wrapping and applying the things to it but I honestly did not care at this point. I put my shirt back on and walked- no dragged myself out of the room.

I was met with Toms and George's faces. I waved at them tripping over the floor a few times then sat at the table they are sitting at. They looked at me with worried eyes. "Hey guys!" I said happy and smiling. They looked confused. I realized that Tom had bruises on his face and red knuckles. My smile faded away "Oh my god! Tom are you okay?!" I said standing up and moving to him. I tried to touch him but he pushed me away. "Okay.. rude." I mumbled. "ME?! RUDE? REGAN YOU DID THIS TO ME?!" He yelled and stoop up. "How I was sleeping?" I said trying ti stand up. He scoffed, "You were the one who got into that argument with bill! You are bing such a bitch to him! Stop being like this." He said and stormed off somewhere.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled a bit, not looking at George. "Wow.." I say. "Regan... Why are you acting this way?" George asks. "Why?.. y'all keep asking me this! Like y'all know what I went through?!" I said a bit loudly. "Yes.. but bill has been so nice to you. And your treating him with disrespect.. that's not cool." He says in a disgusted tone. "How foolish of me. I'm so sorry." I say a bit sarcastic, and raise my hands up.  "Yeah we know.. look I know what your going through, but your not the only one who is going through shit to, your being so selfish." He says and stands up to. I did not know what to feel. Was I mad? Sad? Annoyed? Scared? I have no idea.

I shuffled over to the door, not even bothered to put shoes on. I opened the door, I saw Gustav rush towards me, "Where are you going?" He asks "To find bill." I say flatly. I try to close the door but he says "Wait! Let me go with you. It's not safe." I stood there "Why do you care.. y'all hate me." I said with tears in my eyes, those words hurt me, Even though it was never confirmed. "That's not true, let me go with you please.." he begged. I thought about it for a second.. I stood there in silence. "Ok.. come on." I smiled a little bit, he was so sweet to me, the only one.

"No shoes?" He asked laughing a little. "No.." I sad giggling back. I love how he was not judgmental, and how he was not bringing up how I was kidnapped, or raped, or was suicidal at all. We walked to the car, he helped me walk. I was driving, I walked over to the driver side. "You sure?" He asked "Yes, I might know were he is." He nodded and got in, same with me.

I started to drive, speeding down the road. I kept my eyes on the road, not taking one look away. I drove the way to the pond we're me and bill shared our first kiss. That was when we were happy, but we're Tom broke down in tears finding out I was in love with his brother. It may seem that way for me but I'm not sure about him anymore.. for all I know he could hate me.

I get out of the car and start to look around. No sight of him, I feel myself breathing heavily. I felt weak and powerless. I was jogging with Gustav following behind. "Regan wait up!!" He was not that fast.. poor Gustav.  I was starting to give up but then I spotted black hair behind a tree. I stopped running then paused. Gustav caught up, "How are you so fast... jeeze.." he said out of breath. I was still staring at the black hair then I walked over to the tree. I hear Gustav groan and followed behind, I slowly crept over to it then whispered "Bill..?" I said. He quickly turned around and said "Regan?!" He stood up and looked at me, I still had a straight face, he groaned "Why are you giving me silent treatment! Like what did I do?" He asked, his eyes were red and puffy, he must have been crying. I scanned his body, bloody nose, bruises, and red knuckles. Tom... I thought. The fight must have been bad then.

I felt rumbles in my stomach up to my mouth. I turned and threw up. I spat spit out and moaned. "Ugh.. AGAIN!?" I yelled pissed. I looked at bill, and slightly frowned. I turned to Gustav and said "Sorry buddy, can your leave us please. I'll get back with you later.." he shrugged and walked away "Sorryyy.." I said and turned back to bill. I sat on the grass and laid my back on the tree. I signed and pat the grass next me me, signaling bill to sit with me.

He hesitated, but sat down with me. "Soo..." he says "What ha- I cut him off. "Please don't be mad at me, I have heard enough already." I said kind of tired of men being angry with me. "What? Mad? No.. I'm not mad." He says "Your not?" "No.. why would I be?" "Well because I was being a 'bitch' and 'selfish' and 'being rude to you' I mean yeah I kinda was.." "Did Tom say that?" He says disappointed, "Him and George." I say. He groaned "Don't listen to them. I'm just glad your talking to me again." I smile and he dose to. "I want to say I'm sorry, sorry for leaving you, sorry for not being there for you, sorry not being a good mother, sorry not being a good girlfriend, sorry for ignoring you, sorry for just everything.." I say in tears. "Listen, I know what happened.. you don't need to apologize. Can we just start over please?? of course better.. please?" I smile and cup his red cheeks I look in his eyes and hug him. "I'd love to, thank you." I feel him smile. Even though I can't see his face, I just knew he was.

He pulls back. "Wait....What do you mean 'again'?" "Huh?" "You threw up 'again'." "Oh yeah I've been sick for a few days.." I look down then look back at him. "No... No!" "We have to see just in case. Just to be safe." I nod and we find Gustav and go back in the car. Could I really be pregnant? We go to the store and buy 2 pregnancy tests, and I was starved so I got some snacks. Then we head back home.

A/N: OKAYY!! So I told y'all that you and bill would make up! I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEASS!! So I might not upload tomorrow. Maybe I will maybe I won't we will see. ALSO I THINK THERE IS GONNA BE LIKE 18- 20 CHAPTERS SO YA!! I LOVE YALL SO MUCH THANKS FOR THE READS AND PLEASE VOTE SO I CAN UPDATE FASTERRRR!! LOVE YALL STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY XOXO 💋