She thinks her words will destroy me...
But what she doesn't even know...
I was destroyed the minute SHE lied to me...
You don't LIE about selfharm...
Especially not TO someone who deals with her scars everyday...
SOMEONE who has to fight not to do it again...
Someone WHO loses the battle more often than not...
Someone who WAS to far gone before someone cared about her...
Someone who ALREADY took the pills when she told him and he didn't believe her...
Someone who cries TOO often..
Someone who is FAR away from the ones she loves...
Someone who people don't even realize she is GONE..
Tell me how it is my fault...
Tell me how flashbacks causing me to never want to see someone in my situation a bad thing...
Tell me how it's okay to lie to me about self harm in THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY but I can't say that I didn't tell your mom you worried me...
I lost the person I was struggling to be that day... the good person I was hopping to be...
Turns out you weren't good for me...
Just like I wasn't good for you...
Next time you want someone to be truthful...
DO NOT say you selfharm to seem "cool" "interesting" or what ever it was that you wanted. Because it's not.
I'm not proud of these scars but I have to live with them...
They are apart of me now...
Because I wasn't wanted...
I'm sorry your mom loves you ... I'm sorry you have a beautiful niece...
I'm sorry I am so "lucky" compared to you.
I'm sorry being unable to see the only lights in your dark world seems so much greater than going to school with the "man" you love...
I'm sorry you are wanted...
I'm sorry my depression is what you want...
What I have to deal with every fucking day is not something I would want on anyone...
So go find something else...
