Words pour out of my pencil
Like the tears that stream out of my eyes
Like the blood that pools out from my thighs
My words, my tears and my blood
are all the same for me.
They are my raw emotions.
My starvation is not me wanting to look beautiful.
It's me wanting to know what it feels like to be hungry.
I've tried living with the pain,
I've tried forgetting,
Tried stopping,
working
But nothing seemed to work
There once was a young girl who wanted nothing more than to be the best big sister there ever was.
But she was blocked many times, you see, one her journey to be that sister.
She was given all of these challenges that were much too hard for a young girl to face
Now, this young girl was never as athletic nor as smart as the other children she knew.
She lived by her imagination, and let me tell you, her imagination was always bound to get her in trouble.
And that is how our story goes.
This young girl who loved all but was never quite understood was a troubled young girl.
She had awful nightmares which haunted her day and night.
These started right around the time her last sibling was born. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh she was just a jealous brat." But that she was not.
She loved those kids more then anything in the world. She wanted to give them the world.
Her Father and stepmother did however treat her differently after they were born.
But she didn't mind it one bit not one bit.
Her grandparents treated her differently also.
They treated her like a princess.
She didn't want to be a princess.
She wanted to write.
She wanted to draw.
She didn't want to dance,
Nor did she want to play music.
She wanted to listen to the sounds that nature made,
While she laid under that big oak tree.
She wanted nothing more than to be who she was.
Now that young girl is almost all grown up.
She is a junior in highschool.
She lives for herself.
She went through shit in the town she grew up in.
She was called a whore when she had only kissed one guy for a millisecond and never showed her body.
The girl who lived in a world and was never allowed to find herself because anything she did would reflect on grandpa the mayor.
Other kids thought she was rich.
But really she spent the harshest winters with no heat living in one room with her 5 other family members.
Her father keeps a yoda statue that stepmother did not want but when that woman wants her out she is gone. That yoda statue still in the shed.
When she finally gets out she doesn't know how to live. She isn't used to freedom. She makes mistakes and her "friend" says he doesn't approve of the way she handles her "romantic relationships" which she only had one.
That friend leaves her and takes some friends with him.
But she isn't has hurt as she should be.
No she isn't has hurt as she should be.
She has her marine. She has her love. She knows he wants her just as much as she's wants him. She is happy now. She can be happy now. She is happy again now. She is happy again now.
Is this real is what she feels really real?
Yes I believe so
