I want to be his everything. I want to be the reason he smiles. The reason he comes back. I want to be his everything because he is mine.
I hate the distance but I won't let him leave.
I know he means well.
I know he doesn't trust himself.
But I have faith in him.
He has been there for me.
Lats night I talked to an old friend.
I told him how I'm lossing faith in God.
He tells me the bull shit that I am always hearing.
"Have faith"
"He is always there"
"You may not always see him but he is always there"
I tell himIt's kind of hard not to. I had to try to kill myself to get out of the environment that made me so depressed. I told my step mom that I was depressed and it took 2 years after I finally spoke about the need to kill my self to go get help. Then when I got worse I got yelled at instead of the correct help. Therapist are not allowed to speak to anyone about what their patients talk 'bout even to parents of a minor unless it's is about self harm, harm by another person or harm to another person. I didn't speak about any of those just how I got irritated when Sally lied about what I did on days she got pissd at me. And then I go home and Sally yells at me for lying about her. Do you really think God was there helping me.
In the end the only two people who cared are my two bestfriends. They are my everything.
