68th Hunger Games// Y/n

15

"I'm sorry Dear" Caesar whispers. I squeeze my eyes closed and he sighs "what was going on through your mind?" I look at him enraged. How dare he ask me that? How dare he sit here in his cosy life. How do dare- Finnick shakes his head sharply
"He was taken from me. That should've been me, not Beck" I say softly and he breathes in sharply while the crowd cries.

"I felt my whole world shatter Caesar"

the tears come faster and I can't stop them.
"We'll be right back" Caesar says solemnly and Finnick jogs out, crouching in front of me.
"Are you okay?" Finnick asks and I look at him "Okay, no" he says and holds my knees
"I'm sorry" I sob and Caesar holds my shoulder. I calm down and we continue with the show. It pauses on me, during my final day when I'm waiting for Cache.
"Now, this moment changed the games. You, so ready and yet still, so beautiful" murmurs of agreeance float through the crowd "You caught some hearts in this moment"" Caesar laughs and I force a laugh. After the show, I shower and change into shorts and a sweater. I sit in my apartment alone, staring at the ceiling, laying on the couch

"Y/n" Petunia calls, banging on the door but I ignore her. I can't face the crowds, I can't face Beck's family. I sit up, hold my head in my hands and cry. A giant weight settles on my chest and I gasp for air, it's suffocating me. I must sit there crying for a while because the door is forced open by Finnick who stops when he sees me.
"Y/n..." Petunia coos and crouches next to me
"Don't touch me" I growl and she gasps, Finnick moves her out of the way and sits next to me.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I stare at him
"I hope you're fucking joking" I snap and Petunia gasps deeply "I saw Beck die!" I yell "I killed ten kids, no I'm not fucking okay" I go to my room and slam the door.

"Y/n" Finnick says, voice muffled

"Go away!" I scream and my breath quickens. I'm hyperventilating. The door opens with a crack and Finnick stands there

"Y/n, I know what you're feeling and I wish I could tell you it'll get better but it won't" He says, pulling me up "but when we get home, I'm not letting you slip into despair okay? You won't drink or turn to drugs, I will lock you up if that happens. Got it" He holds my chin and I glare at him
"Mhm"
"Use your words. Do you understand?" He says with a harshness in his voice

"I understand" I say, voice hoarse
"Now we have a train to catch tomorrow. Go to bed" He says and I stare at him as he walks out without a second glance. I scoff and throw a vase at the door, it shatters into a million pieces and I stare at the broken glass on the floor. I throw a towel over it and climb into bed, I somehow find sleep easily but am woken by my nightmares. I scream and gasp, sitting up. Tears prick my eyes and I open my mouth to call for Beck but stop.
"Why did you go?" I cry into my hands. It should've been me. I sit like that all night, scared if I fall asleep I'll dream of Beck.

"Rise and shine" Petunia says joyfully, swinging my door open. Her smile falters when she sees me but she ushered my make-up team in and they set up. They wash me and scrub my scalp, my hair is blow dried and they put makeup under my eyes to hide the dark circles. They add some pink to my cheeks and dot on my faint freckles. They curl my hair and hand me a dark blue dress. I pull it on, it stops mid-thigh and the neckline is plunging. They wrap extra fabric around my waist, it's called a corset I think, and I wince at the tightness. They give me dark blue sandals that tie up all the way up my calf, I frown and they add gold into my hair.

"Beautiful, let's go" Petunia says and I'm ushered out. The crowd cheers and I wave at them smiling.I hug my team goodbye and Finnick offers me his arm which almost causes a riot. I take it and the crowd screams, me and Finnick walk on the train and the door closes. I shove him away from me and storm into my room, slamming the door shut, making the shelves shake.