Gold Dust Woman- Lip Gallagher

i love you, you idiot

Jenna and Dad were going on a date, and Diana was going to see Jason, leaving me home with Carl and Blake. 

"Are you sure you're going to be ok alone with them? I can tell Jason we need to reschedule," Diana said.

"Yes, I'm sure, Diana. Go have fun, ok?" I said.

Whenever I was upset, I liked being alone for the most part. Plus Diana had a long way to go before Jason could trust her again. Not that I blamed him. 

"Call me if you need anything," she said before heading out.

"Will do," I said as the boys ran upstairs, "And don't go in my room, or I'll kill you both!"

Carl and Blake had a history of taking my bras and panties and snooping through my drawers, which pissed me off. One time, Carl stole my push-up bra and tried to hoist it onto a flagpole, which ended horribly. 

For dinner, I made mac and cheese. I put it in the oven when someone just stomped through the doorway. It was Lip, and he looked pissed and at a loss for words.

"What's up with you?" I said. Lip was silent, staring into space with his elbows on the table.

"Is it safe to assume you saw the video?"

He nodded slowly.

"Lip, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but," I stopped, knowing I was going to regret what I said next, but I said it anyway, "What did you expect?"

"I didn't expect her to fuck my dad!" he said, "Jesus, are you telling me I should've?"

"No!" I said, "I'm saying you shouldn't have expected anything more from her. I mean, were you guys ever really dating? Was she your girlfriend, or did you have to share her with half the tenth grade?"

"You don't know everything, Mayo!" Lip said, "She understood me and listened when I was going through shit."

"And I don't?" I said, "What could she possibly have to offer you that I can't?"

He scoffed and shook his head, "Of, course, you're making this about you."

"Because I love you, you idiot!" I said, my voice shaking as tears formed in my eyes, "Jesus, when are you going to wake up and realize that?" 

He looked at me, unsure of what to do or say.

The oven beeped, so I took the dish out and put it on the stove.

"Boys! Dinner!" I said before looking at Lip, "You staying or not?"

"I'll stay," he said, "We're not finished talking."

__________________________________________________________________

Carl and Blake devoured their mac and cheese, and Lip took some too, but I barely ate any. The amount of stress I felt made me lose my appetite. If I ate a lot, I'd probably throw up.

Lip and I went upstairs and locked the door, shooing Carl and Blake away. They were probably still outside the door anyway.

"So, what do you want to say?" I said.

"Uh," he said, "So, I went over to Karen's to apologize last night, and we slept together, and I told her I loved her, and then she said we should stop seeing each other."

I lifted the window to smoke a cigarette, still listening to him. 

"Then today, I see the video, and I got mad and beat the shit out of Frank, and then she showed up at my doorstep and explained everything. I just yelled at her and told her it's over."

I exhaled, slowly turning to face Lip, "You loved her?"

"I think I was falling in love with her, yes."

"Great," I said, "So, why are you here?" 

I got through half of my cigarette when Lip responded, "Because you were right. You were right all along. And I was too blind to not see it."

"Wow," I said, "Thank you. Good thing the delusion has finally worn off."

I flicked the cigarette out my window and closed it.

"Look, Mayo," he said, scooching toward me and putting his hand on my cheek, "I love you so much, but I'm worried."

"About what?"

"Worried that us being together will fuck you up."

I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But it's a risk I'm willing to take."

We kissed, and this one was different. More soft and passionate and not lust-driven. We slowly took our clothes off until we were only in our underwear.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lip said.

I nodded, "100%."

______________________________________________________________________

We woke up in our underwear, our legs overlapping each other. Someone knocked on the door, startling us both.

"One second!"

"It's Ian."

Lip and I looked at each other, confused, but we put our clothes on, and I opened the door for Ian. 

"What's up?" I said.

"Lip in there with you?" He said, trying not to smile.

"Maybe," I said quietly. 

"Everything ok, man?" Lip said, zipping his jeans. 

Diana peeked her head out of her room, looking at Ian, sighing, "Here. Your thirty bucks."

I craned my head toward Ian, "Thirty bucks? Did you two bet money on us?!"

"Maybe," Ian said quietly. 

I smacked Ian lightly and ran a hand through my hair, and he laughed.

"Jenna made breakfast and coffee, by the way," Diana said, "You two wanna stay?"

"Hell yea!"