Inseparable

Chapter 12

The blood squeezed itself out of the slits I hewed into my arm. I accidentally let a tear drop fall onto one of the cuts and it burned. And I cried even more. I cut my other arm too. I cut and I cut, slit after slit. I couldn't stop cutting. I preferred the pain over what was out there. I wanted to cut and cut until there was no more to cut. Cut and cut until every part of me was gone from the surface of the earth. Cut and cut until I was no more. 

I couldn't. I couldn't cut anymore. I dropped the scissors and collapsed onto the floor. I had to clean up my blood but my arms were too weak to move the wardrope. I lay there on the floor and stared into the dim light of my room. A sliver of evening sunlight weaved itself into my tiny, tiny window and rested gently on my slit arm. Why? Why couldn't life be simple? Why did life have to choose me to bullshit on? Why? 

I closed my eyes and emptied my mind. I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't want to be anymore.

That's when my phone vibrated. My eyes fluttered open and my mind flew to the image of the tall, bleach blonde surfer boy with the hazel brown twinkly eyes. I pushed myself up with my weakened arms. The slits were closing up. I picked my phone up and looked at the screen. 3 New Messages from Ross <3

My face involuntarily broke into a smile and my heart quickened its pace. I opened the messages.

hey amanda, u ok? haven't heard from you in days :(

i'm sorry about before, it was a stupid little thing k i don't even remember what it was about

forgive and forget please?

I typed: ross ofc i'll forgive and forget lol <3

and yea, it was a stupid thing let's just forget about it k? 

and no not rlly, not ok :( need someone to talk to

I pushed a strand of my hair away from my face and waited for his response.

Bzzz-bzzz! The screen lit up as a message bubble popped up. 

oh, what's wrong?? i'll talk <3

ugh, my parents again. i'm home for a day and i wanna leave already 

you could always come live with us haha :)

aw man i'd love to, but i'm kinda on the poor side lol

aw its ok lol tell me what happened

i told them what happened and they called me a whore for "sleeping with boys" although i made it clear that i slept with your parents

and they said that i was a useless child and that i was disobedient cuz i was raised wrong

they blamed me for what they did wrong

well sometimes life just sucks :( here listen to some music, it'll cheer you up! 

I clicked on the link he sent me and it linked to a music video: Just Give Me a Reason- P!nk. He sent the chorus to me too, with a picture of a llama. What a guy...

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

ps here's a picture of a shaved llama :P 

I clasped my hands over my mouth to stifle my laughs and sent him a picture of a leprechaun on a unicorn and wrote: this was when i visited florida ;)

LOL that place looks nice we should go there sometime 

defs but legit disney world is amazing

so is disney land man i love that place

we should go to disney world together though wouldn't that be fun? lol

yea totally someday maybe someday

totally :) 

you feelin better now? hope my llama did well 

oh of course you've got a fine young lad there mate ;)

well i do try my good sir

LOL even through texting i do a better british accent

oh puhlease my english accent is dope through texting

miine is doper ross

nah mine is

mine is!

mine is, crumpet?

why of course! don't forget the tea and miine is

oh never, mine is and remember the sugar cubes! 

and biscuits! but alas, my english accent is far better :) 

And we continued our conversation through the night. He wished me goodnight at 1 AM: wow it's late now, aren't you tired? 

got school tomorrow but eh i'm fine, wbu?

a bit, maybe we should go to sleep now lol

yea ikr, it's 1AM in the morning gnite ross <3

gnite amanda <3 sweet dreams :) 

I smiled, clutching my phone in my hands and fell asleep, not thinking of the stress that awaited me the next day.