Kai Havertz-not again?

Echoes of the past

Long chapter today as I haven't been able to write much lately, enjoy reading <3

Kai Havertz

Today is training again and I try to ignore everyone, at least as much as possible. Julian left yesterday and it's breaking my head to know that we're not really talking right now. I know he just wants to help me, but I'm an adult, my mistakes are my mistakes and not Jule his.

I wanted to sleep with Kiara, do I regret it?

Mentally 100%, physically not at all.

My body couldn't handle so much sexual tension and jerking off hasn't helped me in a long time, I want to touch kiara not just think about touching her and my penis sees it the same as me.

Now I no longer feel any sexual tension, but I do feel stress. Mason has been hanging on my feet all weekend and wants to find out what happened between me and Jule, at least Julian didn't say anything that I'm grateful for.

At the moment it's half past seven and training doesn't start until 9. I just need this time to myself now, I don't want to see anyone.

I go into the dressing room with my head down, change my clothes and then go to the training ground.

When I'm working out alone I always use my headphones and listen to music so loud it hurts my ears, but I can't help it right now.

Without thinking, I start sprinting, across the field, back and forth, I want to forget everything and increased adrenaline would be just the thing.

~~~~~

 Thomas Tuchel

I sit in my office and think about new starting 11 tactics to make our team look even more dangerous, but I can't really concentrate.

I'm getting up, getting another coffee, the third this morning, and opening my window for some fresh air, when suddenly I saw Kai walking onto the lawn.

Confused, I look at my watch to see that training doesn't start for another hour and a half.

Still confused, I look back down at Kai to see that he's going through a phase again. To be honest, the last few weeks haven't been easy for Kai, these periods aren't getting any better. 

It seems to me that Kaiis slipping from one phase to the next and that's not very good if I want to have a top concentrated 29.

I remember when Kai was having one of his early phases and I confronted him about it when I realized he wasn't himself. We decided together that if he wants to be distracted, he can come and train at any time and switch off his mind, and when I see him like that, it was definitely the right decision.

Something makes my 29 feel things he doesn't want.

As I slipped out of my thoughts, I saw Kai start running like hell, like something was following him and he needed to flee.

I saw that Kai didn't really think about his form, he wasn't breathing calmly through his nose but through his mouth, so hard it was as if he couldn't breathe anymore. Fully out of breath he stopped, rested his hands on his knees and let out a scream so loud that it even scared me.

In training I will keep an eye on Kai.

~~~~~~~

Kai Havertz

I was the last to get into the changing room and the first to get out. I just didn't want to talk to anyone, the conversation with Tuchel at the end of the training session finished me off.