(Draken x reader)Love and war

13

two weeks have passed since Draken told me to leave. It still hurts, i'd like to say i'm over it but i'm not. He abandoned me, when i needed him most he cut me off. After all that i still love him. I tried to deny it for so long but I couldn't do it anymore, i'm angry and sad at the same time. Some days i cry, some days i scream, my head's a mess. i feel so stupid, and ashamed.

Even so i've been trying to get back to a somewhat normal routine. i've been actively job searching, going to the gym. Anything to keep my mind off of him.

My sister comes over to see me every so often, i try to stay strong for her but it's hard. I appreciate her though, she comes bearing gifts each time, ice cream and all kinds of sweet things. She really is such a sweat heart. I woke up late afternoon, i don't even remember falling asleep. i look a wreck, i have never let myself look so bad EVER. i took a shower and slipped into a hoodie and some pajama bottoms. 

KNOCK KNOCK

"Must be eri."i muttered, smearing some concealer under my eyes and fixing my hair a little. I trudged over to the door, swinging it open with a transparent smile. To my surprise i wasn't met with Eri's smile, but my mom's. She held a bag of groceries in her hand and chocolates in the other.

"Eri couldn't make it, so i came over instead. Is that okay?" she asked.

"uh yeah sure." i replied before we entered my apartment. she handed me the chocolates before turning to the kitchen to unload the bag of groceries. I offered to help but she just shooked her head and smiled.

"Thank you for the chocolates." i smiled before going to sit down on the couch.

"You're fridge is so bare. Have you been shopping yet?" she asked from the kitchen.

"uh no not yet i'll go tomorrow." i replied

"You'd better make sure! Eri told me she told you to go last time she came over" she lectured.

"She told you that?!" Dang it Eri... "i just haven't had the time, with work and stuff." i lied.

 i daren't tell her about anything. Some days when Eri asked me if she could come over i'd lie and tell her i was at work, because i didn't feel like seeing anybody. The whole time Kisaki had me locked up i told Eri i was on a business trip and left my phone here by accident, that's probably what Satomi thinks to. 

Eri doesn't know anything at all nor does she need to. Even though we haven't been in each other's lives long i still feel the need to make her see me as her role model someone who she can look up to. How can she do that if i tell her the truth. That i was weak enough to get kidnapped, or that i'm holed up most days in my apartment heartbroken over some guy. So for her, i'll bottle it all up and get myself together.

i sat down on the couch, chocolate still in my hand untouched. Satomi came back and sat beside me.

"So .... do you want to watch something?" i asked with an awkward smile.

 "Are you okay?" she asked. my smiled faltered for an instant before replying.

"Of course, im okay, why wouldn't i be?" i smiled again.

"Despite everything, i'm still your mother y'know." she says looking at her hands. "You say you're okay when you're clearly not. It must be something you got from me..."

"After i walked out on you and your dad i cried almost every night. i held onto one baby picture of you for dear life and sobbed myself to sleep. I couldn't let Eri see me in such a state so i smiled for her, ive done that for so many years.... so i can see through a fake smile." she finished.

"Satomi leave it al-"

"That means i can see through yours too, y'know. I know i haven't raised you like i should have and it might sound selfish for me to say but i love you like i've raised you since birth, i never stopped."