Marriage or Mess?

chapter 35

Kim Taehyung / park Rami

It been 3 days to that incident. Her hands are bandaged and she can’t move them much.

Paint trigger her now ,leaving her in crying mess. She threw every painting of her. She didn't even go to office now. Not being able to anything, she left office.

I have appointed new secretary but I misses my strawberry so much. She is so silent that it feels like she's is not present.

Her wounds are healing but not her.

“Strawberry?”

She was lost again. Again caging herself in the memories of that dark dusty place. “what are you lost in?” I tucked her hairs behind her ear before caressing her cheek. She melts in my touch.

She melts like an ice cube in my warmth and I can never be more proud of myself that she likes my presence.

“Lost in the thing that I become so useless. My hands aren’t working and I can’t go to office. I can not take over dad’s company and I hate painting now. What am I even doing in life?”

She has been thinking this base less thought?

“oh darling. You are not useless. It’s just a phase of life. Your hands will work again.” I pulled her in my arms. She instantly hugs me back. I know she’s just too broken inside. Lots of love and care can bring me my Rami back to me.

But watching her gloomy self races my heart and I can’t help but to curse myself for putting her this situation.

“Just close your eyes are rest a bit my love. And you are strong. Imagine if something happened to you. I would have been dead by now. You are the boon of my existence strawberry and I don’t think I can survive with you now.

Do you want me to sing a song for you?” I brushed her beautiful curls with my bare hands.

She loves it when I brush her locks.

A small, almost inaudible hum escaped her lips.
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1 month later

Her hands have recovered completely. She can do anything now. She hasn’t joined the office because I asked her to rest for now.

She doesn’t paint anymore.

And drawing was the one thing that can bring shine to her eyes.

“taehyung see I cooked all these for you. Come. Let’s have our dinner.” She tried to sound cheerful.

She’s been doing this from one week. Pretending to be herself when she clearly cannot. She’s been doing so to not trouble me more.

She’s been thinking that her dull self is being burdened upon me but who is going to tell her that she has been nothing but a blessing in my life.

I thank God for sending you to me.

“Rami, Rami. Come here first.” She came toward me timidly with her head down. She should know that she can never pretend in front of me.

“look at me.” My tone wasn’t soft but stern.

Ordering.

I was done with her pretending to be happy for me. I don’t want her to pretend for me.

I want her to be happy for herself.

“we will eat dinner later. First come with me.” I offered her my hand . Confusion was written on her face but she placed her hand on mine. I engulfed her small hand in mine and dragged her to one specific room.

Her art room.

As soon as she saw where I’m taking her, she tried to get her hand off of my hold. “ taehyung, I’m not going inside!” her breath fasten up. “no! We are going.”

I locked the door and kept the keys in my pocket.
She covered her nose so that paint odour didn't reach her. I took her hand in mine and left butterfly kisses on her hand. “Open your eyes strawberry.” I whispered “and just look at me.”
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Park Rami

No I can’t do it. Paints now suffocate me. I hate the way the smell. My hands were trembling but his one touch soothed me out.

“look at me. Just me.”

His voice was demanding. I don’t know why but I opened my eyes little by little.

Just as he said, I kept my eyes only on him. Just him.

“that’s like a good girl. Now I want you to look around the whole room once.” I shook my head immediately. I can never do that.

“no please taehyung.” I shut closed my eyes again. “ for me once please.” I opened my eyes again. His eyes held concern. “please.” I kissed him on lips. “don’t say please.”

I inhaled a deep breath and looked around the room once. Once.

Enough for my inside to go weird. I felt throwing up and sweaty.

“ this is the place you loved the most.”

“hate.”

“ No love. It’s just your brain playing with you. No one can unlove something or someone they loved to the deepest point. You love me?” he asked  to which I nodded

“so one day, you would unlove me too?” He asked.

“no!” I shouted.

I can never unlove him.

Not even in my wildest dream.

“ I have loved you every day sweetheart.”

He smiled. “see. Just in the same way baby, its just your brain. Your love for this beautiful thing hasn’t died a little bit.” He stroked my hair with his love filled eye. His voice was soft again.

“paint me.”

I looked up at him perplexed. “I can not taehyung.” My hand shivered. “you can and you will.” His voice stern again. Funny how he changes his voice in seconds. “But tae-”

He placed his finger on my lips to shush me down. I took deep breath.

I can do it. I have always done this. It’s not a new thing to me. I’ve painted before. I can paint in future too.

“Okay.” It came more like a whisper.

Taehyung undressed his torso showing me his well toned abs. It’s been month since I’ve seen him naked. But every time we made love is printed in my head like an image.

“You can drool over this chest later strawberry. Paint me first.” He smirked completely aware of things his bare torso was doing to me.

I took the paint brush but hands still shaking. It felt so new holding a brush. I felt like it’s the first time I’m holding it.

"You can never paint again."

His voice roamed around me.

"Your brain is just playing with you."

Taehyung words encouraged me.

But the scene of Liam piercing the blade in my hands flashed in front of my eyes. Brush fell on the ground. “its alright.” Taehyung grabbed my waist and gently stroked it. “paint me with you hands”

I looked at him nodding my head listening to every of his command like I’m a puppet of him.

I took the paint in my fingers and tried to colour the canvas but before they reached it, tae hold them midway.

“ I asked you to paint me strawberry. Today I’m your canvas. Fill me however you want. Wherever you want.” He hummed in last. “Just do it.” He kissed my hands. And walked back sitting on the stool with his chest up straight.

Paint him.

On his chest.

My hands were already shivering. Touching his skin would burn my hands.

His one touch set fires on me. Make me forgot everything.

I have always thought of painting his body one day. His figure is just perfect. Well built. My hands itching on my side to just touch him and paint him.  “C’mon strawberry. Paint me.” He called me again.

This time my feet moved on their own towards him like he’s controlling them. I took the red paint and spread it on his torso in a stroke. His one touch set fire crackers and butterflies to explode.

His one touch sent goose bumps down my body.

I took the lighter shade of red creating a stroke close the earlier one. I could feel every muscle of his. Every time he breath. It felt ineffable.

I didn’t notice when my hand started working on their own, when my while focus went to paint him. But I was enjoying it.

With the last stroke of green paint I moved backward to see a  ethereal, messy rose. “don’t cry.”

I smashed my mouth on his not caring if the colours are ruining my dress or not. I was a mess enough to create more. My kiss was aggressive not like any gentle kiss we shared. My kiss held all the pain is was holding inside my heart. I poured everything in that one kiss.

“I love you so much. Thank you.” I pulled him for another. I was felicitated how I can still draw. “tu es une bénédiction pour moi.” I said in between my cries.

“see. You still do love painting. Rami never let anyone play with you mind. Not even you.” His both hand holding my face.

I nodded.