LIGHTWEIGHT

Chapter 7: Happiness

It's funny how when you start sharing the burdens you've carried for so long, it becomes easier and easier to keep opening up to people. It doesn't happen overnight but knowing that some people care and give you the support you need definitely helps.

That's how I feel now about the Youth Program. It took me more than two months to realize that but I am clearly in a better place. And as much as we like holding on to the things that hurt us and keep them bottled up somewhere on the inside, unlocking that secret place isn't always as scary as it looks.

Dr. Larkin says it takes a lot of strength to handle everything on your own without letting anyone help. However, actually accepting people's help in order to get better shows even more strength and braveness.

If he had told me that back in September, I would have probably laughed at his face. But today, I understand what it means and I think he's right. Letting yourself be vulnerable in front of others isn't a weakness. It shows that you're only human and that you want things to get better by letting all the negativity out of your system.

"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

-Leonard Cohen

That's exactly what I'm doing lately. Learning how to give more of myself and take off the bandage so that my wounds can actually start healing. I'm not going to lie, it's still a hard process but as corny as it might sound, Liam makes me want to be better and he's been very patient with me over the past three weeks.

The other day, Marissa told me she had never seen me this happy since the day we met. Honestly, she is right. Because when we met, I was a complete wreck and it's only recently that I have started to pick up the pieces.

It's Tuesday and just like every other Tuesday, I'm working at the library. I'm about to enter the building when I hear someone call my name. I turn around and see Matt on the opposite sidewalk waving me hello. I cross over the road to join him.

"Hey you. What are you doing here?" I look up at the church we are standing in front of.

A lot of people come and go through the entrance and Matt greets them before giving his attention back to me, "I'm welcoming people for our monthly lgbtqi+ meet up."

"Oh, that's great! I can see a lot of people are showing up."

"Follow me inside, I'll show you."

Once inside, I watch him give guidance to people and assign tasks to the other volunteers. I smile at the scene, he is a leader.

"We have monthly meetings. It's mostly a support group. Most of these kids don't have anyone else to talk to. Some of them have nowhere to sleep, others suffered from home abuse."

"I had no idea you were so involved in the community. You're doing a great work here. How come I've never seen you here before?"

"That's because we change locations every month so that we can reach out to the majority of people in need for help, support or just a hot meal."

I nod as I start wandering around, observing everyone coming together in this place that clearly feels like home to them. This was a safe haven to them. Not the place in itself of course but the people they encountered for the first time or met again. Seeing them smile, laugh and hold each other brought joy to my heart.

I can't possibly imagine what they have to endure on a daily basis. I am fortunate enough to have a family who loves me no matter what. I am privileged.

I briefly skim over the information brochure when I hear a voice that catches my attention.

"Hey man. Great turn out," he embraces Matt with affection.