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the fact that you somehow agreed to meeting semi today was not part of the plan. if he texted you to throw some more shit at you, it wouldn't be a surprise if he had a black eye the minute he opened his mouth. but if he texted you to...say something else, it wouldn't be a surprise if you just kinda exploded on the inside and just malfunction for the rest of the school year.
why is semi eita on your mind anyway? that stupid bastard who always knew how to push your buttons and yet took care of you when you were drunk, sick, and played along with you so you wouldn't be alone—oh...
stupid heart, you cursed yourself, why can't i just listen to my brain for once?!
but both of those organs would've still lead you to make wrong decisions. no offense and all!
if he were to tell you that maybe he felt the same way as you, hating you so much that it occupies your mind, then great! if he were to tell you that he loathes you and he never wants to see you again, then that fucking suc—great!
your hands were in both of your skirt pockets as you made your way to the far end of the soccer field, a place where you never really venture off to. you see semi just by the fence...staring off into the distance...like a lunatic...
it was after school, and luckily, no volleyball practice. all the students were practically in their dorms earning a well deserved break after any of the classes in shiratorizawa. you mentally smiled at semi trying to find peace. you shook it away immediately.
he was still staring off into the distance by the fence when your feet caught up to where he was standing. he peeked over just a tiny bit and the setter took in a deep breath as the two of you stared into the distance, not bothering to talk or making eye contact.
it was a nice spring afternoon where the cherry blossoms were starting to wilt and vibrant green leaves are taking its place. the birds and the other animals that seem to inhabit the city actually frolicking around now it's starting to warm up a bit.
the silence was peaceful until you see a cat walking over to your feet. its legs were soft against your knee high socks. it gave you the chance to kneel down and pet the soft creature with a smile on your lips. additionally, it also gave semi the chance to fully turn his body to face yours and crouch down as well, petting the cat before it immediately ran away back through the fence.
you silently chuckled as the two of you looked at each other. true, it was a bit awkward at first but when you both stood back up, he finally talked.
"hey."
hey, is he serious right now, you thought.
"hey," you said, "was there any specific reason you wanted to talk? it was a bit vague in your text message."
semi faced you, "yeah i wanted to ask what the hell is wrong with you last week," he said with no hint of sarcasm in his voice, "i thought we were finally getting along. and i knew if i just asked you casually, you would just...i don't know, run away from me again."
you averted your eyes quickly from the gray-haired male. that's embarrassing. how do you tell your frenemy/rival that it kills you on the inside that you think about him 24/7 and you absolutely despise it. how do you even just put those into words without embarrassment?
"oh, that..." you laughed sheepishly, "that wasn't anything, stupid semi, i just hated practicing with you last week," you lied.
"hated, huh?"
"absolutely hated it!"
it was quiet again after your response. you knew semi knew what to say but he was just thinking of a perfect way to say it. maybe to annoy you. that's what he did best. semi eita annoyed you and that's how it'll always be.
the setter walked around the little area the two of you were standing, "i hated it too."
your eyes quickly met his. you didn't know how exactly to feel about what he just said. were you glad he felt the same way? but you didn't even hate it? were you sad he said he hated it?
you showed your smirk that you only displayed around him, "see? you hated it too!" you teased the male, "so you know where i was coming from—"
"i hated it," semi interrupted you hastily, "i hated it because i couldn't stop thinking about you and i'm so confused, it's...horrible and gross."
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"don't you get it?" semi laughed exasperatedly, "every time we fight or joke around or whatever the fuck you call it, i just can't seem to get you out of my mind. i tried making it stop by being worse to you but ever since our third year of high school, my mind has been betraying me."
you were confused. you didn't even know what to say. you looked at him all wide eyed but his main focus was to not make eye contact with you no matter what.
the setter continued, "and that made me want to talk to you even more, i guess? but you dislike me so i... made you dislike me more so you could talk to me more...?" he, himself sounded unsure of what he was trying to say, "your dislike was all you could ever give me, y/n."
semi was a mess. he wasn't crying or anything. he just has this tint of red painted on his cheeks.
"look, i'm sorry for being mean all these years and i know it sounds fucked up to say, but yeah, i did it to gain your attention," semi said like a young boy, "if i could take it back, i would."
your eyebrows furrowed. he was a prick because he wanted my attention? you were about to get mad before you stopped yourself. wait, shit! i did that too! damn you, semi!
it's not like you would ever admit to that, though!
"so you call me all these names, tell me the team carries me, tell me i suck because... you wanted to keep speaking to me?" your mind couldn't fathom around it.
he suddenly became shy, "well if you put it that way, then yeah i seem like a fucking asshole—"
"cause you are."
"but! we already had that kind of dynamic our first and second year. wouldn't it be weird if i started being nice to you all of a sudden because my brain finally caught up to my... heart?" semi orated, he wasn't really sure on what to say.
you played around with your hair because you were in complete utter shock with the words the male in front of you just poured out. this wasn't the semi you knew. it was definitely weird but hey, the guy deserves a chance right?
and it's OBVIOUSLY because you DIDN'T feel the same way as he did. OBVIOUSLY.
OBVIOUSLY.
"so you were an asshole because you wanted my attention?" you rolled your eyes and laughed and was about to turn your back and walk around to think of something pettier to say but semi's hand found its way to hold your wrist. stopping you in your tracks.
he thought you were going to leave.
"wait," the gray-haired male just looked at you in the eye, "you grew on me, alright?"
your eyes wandered to his, then to his hand on your wrist, and then to his eyes again, "semi, i'm unsure of what you're trying to say—"
"i like you, okay? damn it. is that what you wanted to hear?"
