Escape | ✓

8

Romantic relationships never really were something I was interested in.

My parents had told my brothers and me about mates from an early age. They explained the importance of them and while some of my siblings got stars in their eyes and heads full of dreams where they'd finally met their mates, I wasn't like that.

It wasn't that I despised the idea of mates, I'd just never been interested in them. My brothers Jenson and Tyson were the opposite in that sense. Jenson liked to present himself as a no-nonsense type of guy. He was, in his own words, "married to his work", but I wasn't stupid. It wasn't hard to see the way his mind wandered and his eyes lit up whenever the topic of mates came up. He was a hopeless romantic; a lot like someone else I knew.

Tyson was different in the sense that his longing for a mate came from watching those around him. While Jenson was in love with the idea of mates from the stories our parents had told us and the old textbooks in the pack library, Tyson fell in love with the idea of mates due to watching our parents growing up. Though he had never truly said it, I knew that was what he wanted. He wanted a relationship like our parents, or like our eldest brother's.

It was always strange to me how one glance or one spark was all it took to convince one's self that they were in love.

From an early age, I had decided that I didn't want a mate and yet, here I was, agreeing to meet up with Eli to talk about the very same topic. I'd spent all night tossing and turning, debating on whether or not I was doing the right thing. I wasn't going to meet up with him in order to take my rejection back, but rather just the opposite. I was going to put the final nail in the coffin and in some ways it bothered me.

Perhaps it was because the first time I rejected Eli I was able to blame someone else. I was able to blame the jealous-eyed gamma who clearly wanted him. So much so that he was willing to throw around threats to get his way.

But this time? That wasn't an option. If I was going to reject Eli then I couldn't pass the blame off to someone else. I'd have to face the fact that his sad eyes were the result of my own actions.

I checked the clock and saw that it was eleven-forty. The library was within walking distance so I wasn't worried about being late, but the feeling of unease spread throughout my stomach.

The sound of my phone ringing caused me to jump and my eyes darted to the screen where Arlo's name appeared. A frown fell on my face. I hadn't spoken to him since last night and I wasn't sure I wanted to just yet. Maybe it was a bit petty of me, but I was partly upset about the Cronan situation from last night; more specifically, the way Arlo had left with him. I knew he liked the guy, but I needed to know where he'd draw the line. How far along would he follow Cronan before he finally realized that the guy was bad news?

I ignored denied the call and finished getting dressed before leaving my apartment and beginning to head toward the library. As I did so, I once again tried to figure out what I was going to say to Eli. I could give him the classic "it's not you, it's me" speech, but something told me that Eli, being Eli, would counter that with his own speech about accepting me for who I was—not that he knew who I was.