Psychology Facts

▼ Attachment Theory ▼

》 Attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans.

The four types of attachment styles:

Secure

avoidant (aka dismissive, or anxious-avoidant in children)

anxious (aka preoccupied, or anxious-ambivalent in children)

disorganized (aka fearful-avoidant in children)

Secure

Secure attachment is defined by an ability to build healthy, long-lasting relationships.

Secure attachment is the result of feeling secure with your caregivers from childhood and being able to ask for reassurance or validation without punishment.

Ultimately, you felt safe, understood, comforted, and valued during your early interactions.

Your caregivers were probably emotionally available and aware of their own emotions and behaviors.

Signs of a secure attachment style include:

ability to regulate your emotions

easily trusting others

effective communication skills

ability to seek emotional support

comfortable being alone

comfortable in close relationships

ability to self-reflect in partnerships

being easy to connect with

ability to manage conflict well

high self-esteem

ability to be emotionally available

As a result, people with secure attachment styles tend to navigate relationships well. They're generally positive, trusting, and loving to their partners.

Avoidant

Avoidant, dismissive-avoidant, or anxious-avoidant are all words for the same insecure attachment style.

In childhood, you may have had strict or emotionally distant and absent caregivers.

Your caregivers may have:

left you to fend for yourself

expected you to be independent

reprimanded you for depending on them

rejected you when expressing your needs or emotions

been slow to respond to your basic needs

As a result, these children may learn to adopt a strong sense of independence so they don't have to rely on anyone else for care or support.

You might have an anxious-avoidant attachment style if you:

persistently avoid emotional or physical intimacy
feel a strong sense of independence

are uncomfortable expressing your feelings
are dismissive of others

have a hard time trusting people

feel threatened by anyone who tries to get close to you

spend more time alone than interacting with others