After the Sun Sets (18+)

CHAPTER 21a - Exodus pt.2

At first, it was desperate, as though she said it just to shut him up. As though she'd do anything to stop him from saying anything more, anything that could break her resolve. But then Lora's eyes closed and her lips parted and she said it again, this time more to herself than to him. It was an affirmation. Resound and resolute.

"I love you."

It wasn't her words that broke him. It was her tone, her hunched posture, her restless fingers shifting in his hands. Her innocent eyes, scared, like a deer in headlights. He'd never seen this woman afraid of anything. She'd been through hell and back and it showed in her steady gaze and firm tone and squared shoulders, yet he could see she was terrified of him, or more accurately, what she felt for him now that she was forced to admit it.

"I love you," she whispered again, over and over until he believed her. Until she believed herself with every cell in her slight, shaking body. She cried softly. "I love you. I love you."

She lifted her hands to the sides of his face, looking deeply into his eyes. Then her hands slid down to his neck, to touch his arms and shoulders and chest as though getting the feel of him imprinted in her memory. The despair inside her grew more and more frantic when she saw the pain in his eyes. It was a pain she'd often seen but never asked about.

She didn't know. She didn't know what he'd been through because he was always so concerned about her. Even now! But she could see it went beyond that. He needed her. He couldn't bear losing her and despite what he said, it wasn't just about her being safe and happy. It was his need to keep her safe and happy because he loved her. He loved her, and it birthed joy in her and broke her chest all at the same time.

"I'm sorry," she cried into his chest and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. And when he just stood there, staring and unmoving, her heart broke further as she realized this was it. Something had changed. It had to change. They weren't meant to be. Maybe, in another place and time.

Maybe, if they hadn't rushed into things with the wrong people when they were younger. Maybe, if they didn't have so many unresolved issues that made their pieces of the puzzle just slightly imperfect, only slightly, but making it impossible for them to fit perfectly just the same. Maybe, maybe, maybe, things could have been different.

She lifted her head and pressed her lips against his cheek, his neck, his mouth. He didn't stir. She moved down, kissing his shoulder, his heart. She fell to her knees in front of him, kissing his hands, his fingers and wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

But he grabbed her chin and lifted her to her feet with a savageness he never showed her before. Their faces were inches apart and she felt his hot breath on her mouth as he squeezed her face firmly but gently. "No, you're not. Because you of all people have nothing to be sorry about. You don't have to kneel or beg for anyone. If only you saw yourself through my eyes, you'd know."

"Owen-"

"You can't let him hurt you," he went on urgently.

"He won't."

"Listen to me! Please, just... There is more than one way people can destroy you. You are tough. You are a force to be reckoned with. You can't let him extinguish this fire I see in you. Do you hear me? This fire I know you feel not just when we're together but whenever you allow yourself to be you."

Tears started streaming down Owen's face shattering Lora's heart.

"You can't forget it, the feel of it. That's your spirit! Your laugh! Think of how good it feels when you laugh. That energy when you get all bothered... in a good way, Lora, not when you're angered."