After the Sun Sets (18+)

CHAPTER 18 - Confessions

Lora's hands worked automatically as she folded the towels and piled them neatly into the cupboard in Jona's bedroom. She checked the brand-new lifter and put it on charge. She folded the transfer sheet and set it at the foot of the bed. She placed the freshly washed basins in the sink. Everything was ready for her husband's return. Everything except her.

Her mind foraged through the events of the past two days as though they were a flipbook. Owen trying to talk her out of her plan to take Jonathan home. Her adamant protests against getting a live-in carer. His relief when she finally accepted that Karl can come and do daily physio sessions for Jonathan. Her husband's conceding grunt as she and Owen proposed the way forward, not even bothering to look their way or comment about how close together they were standing. Jess's shock when she told her Jona will be discharged home. Siena's joy. Aiden's horror. And finally, Owen's question. The one they had all been thinking about but no one dared ask. What about us?

What about them? What about them? 

She never answered. The truth was she didn't know. She knew she had to have Owen in her life. She knew she couldn't keep lying to Jonathan. She knew things had to change. But she didn't know how.

Owen, like always, saw her answer, or lack thereof, in her eyes and hated it. She could see the disappointment in his eyes, on his skin. She could hear the consternation in his voice, feel it in the way he held her, and it broke her heart. It had come to a point where she needed him. She depended on him to keep her sane, knowing that, as wrong as their relationship was, he was the only thing that kept her going.

She couldn't remember how she managed before and she couldn't fathom how she could bear a life without him now without his smile, his gentle gaze. That blissful touch that quieted her heart and set her on fire all at the same time. That playful voice that mocked her two nights ago, when he asked her if she'd learnt that in Sunday school.

She could have slapped him but she didn't. She was learning that there was nothing wrong with enjoying herself, with laughing at oneself, with loving oneself. 

His smooth chuckle as she blushed under his attentive gaze. His green, vibrant eyes should have made her feel vain, but he taught her it was alright to be confident. She burned at the sound of his sharp intake of breath when she eased onto him and rocked against him and allowed herself to take the pleasure he gave so willingly. She loved the effect she had on him and relished in the effect he had on her because there was nothing wrong with that either. There couldn't be. Not when it felt so good.

The front door opened and the sound of Jess and Krista's cheerful voices flowed through the room, quickly followed by Karl's booming laugh. Lora put on her best smile and went out into the hall to greet them. Her eyes immediately locked with Jona's and her heart shot up to her throat. One look was all it took to determine her husband's surly mood.

"Hey, guys! Welcome home, Jonathan," she welcomed optimistically, pretending he didn't just suck her life out of her lungs with his murderous glare.

He growled in reply and the room fell silent. His misery was palpable. To everyone else, it felt like a slap in the face. To Lora, it was a knife to her chest and her own hands were at the hilt. 

"Krista, can you show Karl to your dad's room, please?" she croaked. "It's all set up."

Krista blushed slightly and nodded before lifting her eyes to the large man next to her. "Sure. This way, Karl."

As Karl pushed Jonathan down the hall, Lora looked to the floor to hide the moisture in her eyes. She exhaled steadily, hoping Jess wouldn't see how distressed she was, but the girl's eyes were on her like a hawk.