After the Sun Sets (18+)

CHAPTER 5 - Reflection

"Siena, don't push your brother!" Lora shouted, but her voice got lost in the wind. Carmen chuckled beside her.

"Let them play. If they fall, they'll fall in the sand. They won't get hurt."

Lora turned to her mother in disbelief. "What did we just go to mass for, then? So they don't learn the values of love and kindness?"

"We went to mass to pray for your husband and for Janet and Wayne and for you!" the wise mother replied shaking her head. "Love and kindness they learn from their family, not from the priest."

Lora looked at her feet, toes lodged in the wet sand as the foamy waters glided towards them then got dragged back by the tide. The sun was setting over the horizon and the sky was a beautiful shade of gold. This was her favourite part of the day. It was the time when she reflected, when she sat down and adjudicated her actions and reactions and thought about how tomorrow she can be better.

She heard Aiden and Siena laughing behind her and she felt the inexplicable joy flood her heart. Her mother was right. She learned about values from the Holy Scripture, but she absorbed them and practised them because of her family.

"Thank you," she told her softly. Carmen turned to her daughter questioningly. "They needed this. It feels like we're practically living at the hospital again. I don't mind, to be honest, but the kids miss this. Running around in the sun, playing, chasing each other. I forget how hard it can be for them sometimes. I wish I can give them more, you know?"

Carmen put her hand on Lora's knee, squeezing it a little until Lora turned her brown eyes on her. "It's not easy to raise a family. It's not easy for anyone let alone for someone with so much on their plate. Be patient and have faith. God does not give us more than we can carry."

Lora stared at the horizon as her mother's eyes fell to her lap. She heard it too. The judgement. The implications of her words. That's why she stopped talking abruptly.

"I'm sorry," Carmen whispered. "I didn't mean..."

"Yes, you did," Lora said cutting her apology short. There was no need for it. She was right. She herself had told her sister the same thing just two days before Jonathan called them telling them he found Hannah in a pool of her own blood in the bathtub.

And yet, as true as those words were, not a sunset had gone by since then that Lora hadn't wondered if only she'd been a bit more careful with her words, maybe if she'd been more sensitive to her sister's woes rather than assuming that she was being ungrateful, maybe then her sister would still be alive. She would still be the one married to Jonathan. Jessica and Krista would still have their mother. They wouldn't be living on their own. Their souls would be safe.

Jonathan wouldn't have had to marry her. He probably wouldn't have gotten into that horrible car crash either. Everything would have been different if, maybe when Hannah confided in her and told her she wasn't happy, she'd been more empathetic instead of dismissing her with an offhand 'Have faith, God is with you.'

No. God does not give us more than we can carry. But some people's loads are lighter for a reason. To help others. To help carry the heavier load of our brothers and sisters and that is where we fail Him. That is where Lora failed Him.

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Lora gently kicked the door open, the heavy bags she was hugging to her chest almost causing her to lose her balance. Aiden was quick to hold the door open as Siena whizzed past them both, eager to see her father after two whole days.

"Daddy, you're on the chair!" she squealed in excitement, all but leaping onto his lap.

Jonathan opened his arms wide for his little princess and wrapped them around her as she dangled from his neck. He winced slightly but helped her climb onto him gently.