Stated Love

Chapter 16

After a week of lounging in my room, eating potato chips and studying for my exams, Mama made me go to school. Exams are next week and I'd been on crunch time. I'm ready. But that doesn't mean I actually want to go to school, I'd still rather stay at home.

"Hey, how you been?" Addie asks. I glare at her. I was still upset about Addie pushing me to date and always making side comments on me and guys. She makes me feel like a little kid compared to her since I want to save my virginity and don't date. I'm just sick of her. "Fine." I turn back to my science study packet. Mrs.Armstrong gave every student a packet to study from before exams. It was the last thing we'd do before school was out, which was in two weeks. Sam looks up from hers and glances from Addie to me. Addie's flaunting her new manicure, admiring her pink polished fingernails with yellow flowers over top. Sam rolls her eyes and turns back to me. "You doing anything for lunch?" She asks. I turn to face her. I'm not mad at Sam. Sam doesn't make me feel the way Addie did. I was actually considering hanging out with her sometime this summer. "I'm not sure yet," I bite my finger nails. "I'm probably going to study in the library." I didn't ask her what she was doing and I didn't invite her either. She shrugs and says we should hang out soon. "Yeah, I'd like that." We smile at each other and turn back to our booklets. Addie's face says it all; it hits her like a pang of jealousy. I feel bad, but I just don't want to deal with her anymore; she's always bringing me down. And I can't talk to her about it either. Ever since she's been hanging out with the popular crowd, she's been different. 

During gym, I tried my best to avoid Abdallah, but he still came up to me. "Hey, how have you been?" I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off. "Sorry, that's a stupid question." To be honest, I agree but it's the thought that counts. I smile, just a little bit and he smiles back, awkwardly. I haven't smiled like that since after Jidu passed away. It felt weird. "How about you? How's studying for exams?" I ask, wanting to keep the conversation as casual as possible. "Wallahi, it's been stressing me out a bit, but I'm good," He shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. He clears his throat. "Your sister is getting married soon, right? I saw Mama with the invitation in her hand last night." I hated the topic of weddings; it reminded me of love and how I couldn't be with the one I loved and longed to be with. Not yet. "Yeah, Jidu wouldn't have wanted Walaa to cancel it for him," Jidu was always looking forward to seeing her happy. "You are coming, right?" I tried not to sound too hopeful; for him and for me. "Uh, yeah, probably," He looks down to the floor again. "Well, it'll be great to have you there." I smile again then start to back away. "Well I've got to go, but yeah, bye." I give an awkward wave and he gives me a half smile. Ever since the funeral, things haven't been the same with us. I mean, after we talked they weren't; but that day just made it worse. Abdallah probably saw Salman and I on the lawn. I hoped he wouldn't show up to the wedding. After that day, he shouldn't even dare.

After gym class, I change then head to my locker. I grab my lock at slide to align the numbers to my combination code. As I slip my gym bag in, there's someone calling my name. "Hey," It's Addie. I turn to face her. "Hey," We're both casual with our tone of voice. She gives a deep exasperated sigh. "Look, if you're going to pretend nothing's wrong, fine. But I'm not cool with it. What happened to us? Can we talk?" She read right through me. I thought ignoring her would be fine, the end of it. But with Addie, that isn't possible. "Yeah, sure, we can talk. Where do you want to meet?" I assume she wants to now. "How's the turf?" I lock my locker and follow behind her. I don't even grab my lunch. I could tell that this was going to be a long conversation.

"Do you hate me?" She asks when we get there. I plant down next to her. "No Addie. I could never hate you. I just dislike and disapprove of some of your actions." She rolls her eyes and says sarcastically, "Oh, so back to how you think since I'm dating and going to parties, I'm a sinner and automatically going to hell." I want to give her the finger so bad and give her a big piece of my mind. "God, you're so ignorant. I never said that! It's not about dating, or drinking, or sleeping around, or sinning! It's about being my friend and the small- no, big, ignorant comments you've been making, Addie," Her face crumbles. She knows I'm right. "I'm not saying I don't want to be friends; I love you. And I'm not saying that I'm better than you. I just don't appreciate you disrespecting me. I don't want to argue, I just want the Addie that I know back. Before you became 'popular' or whatever." I hold my arms out to hug her and she holds onto me. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, Alaa." I feel her smile while she's wrapped tight around me. We spend the rest of the break chatting and when Sam comes over, she says she's relieved that we're not giving each other the silent treatment anymore. And I am too.