Stated Love

Chapter 17

It's finally the weekend. The weekend before exams. I'm stressing like crazy. "Alaa, take the rest of the day off," Mama suggests, crouching over to see my computer screen. I shake my head and take a deep breath. "Sahar called the home phone earlier. Says she wants to go out for boba or something. It may be good to take a bit of time off." I decline her offer. "No thanks, I need to study. My whole grade depends on it." After another hour, I'm burned out. It's almost six o'clock. 

I guess I have been studying for a while.

An hour at Bubbles can't hurt, right? I can take a little break. "Mama, can I go out to Bubbles with Sahar? I'm feeling burnt out and I think I'll be back in an hour or so." She smiles, looking up from her magazine. "Yeah sure," She pulls a twenty out of her pocket. "Here, buy Sahar something with it too." I smile and rush out the door. I notice Salman's car pulling out of the driveway so I rush to the side. I wouldn't call it hiding, but I just don't want to have to talk with him. We haven't said a word to each other or even saw each other since 'the incident'. I knock on the door and Sabrine answers. "Hey, what's up?" She asks impatiently. "I'm good, Alhamdullillah. Just here to see Sahar and say hi to Khalto." She purses her lips and moves to the side so I can step in. "Yeah, now's not a good time for her, but whatever, I don't care. Come in." Sabrine smiles and nods sarcastically but I walk in anyway. I see Khalto Rasha on the couch with her head in her hands. I rub her back and say, "Salam Khalto. How are you?" She sighs deeply. "Wallahi, not good. No good at all! Sahar is pain in behind, Wallahi. I swear she no good to her mama. No having respect," I smile and try to walk away. I'm not here for a therapy session. I turn back to face her, an idea popping in my head. "Well, I can talk to her. We can go sit in a nice cafe and I can talk her into apologizing and changing her ways." I lie. "It'll just be an hour, ok?" She agrees and I run up to Sahar's room, knocking before I enter. She vents out so fast that all I make out from what she was saying is that her and her mother got into an argument because she favors Salman and lets him do what he wants. "And after that, she has the audacity to let him go out with some chick!" I cringe when she says the word 'chick'. "Look, I know you're angry. But screw him! Let's make the most of the weekend. Just us two." She shrugs. "How will we even get there?" I pulled the twenty out. "I'll pay for the drinks, you pay for the bus fair. It's cheap for students." She agrees and we head out to the bus stop. 

I never realized Bubbles was such a popular spot for people our age. Ever since I got to Jersey and met her, Sahar and I have been gate keeping it. We were regular customers and the workers knew us by name. "Hey, there are my favourite two customers!" We smile at the cashier and place our orders. We always get taro milk tea with extra tapioca. He leans in close and says, "I'll add a waffle in there for you two, on the house, 'kay?" We smile and thank him. After looking all over, we can't find a table indoor. The place is crawling with teenagers and their laptops, probably studying for exams. "Why don't we sit outside today? The weather is pretty nice." Sahar was right; it was. The sun was still shining brightly and there was a slight breeze. The perfect combo. After our order is called up, Sahar takes our cups of boba and I take our waffle along with two forks. "Bismillah," Sahar and I eye the waffle longingly. "Let's dig in!" We take a few sips, then bite into the fluffy waffle. It's delicious. "So, got any exams?" Sahar asks. "Um, duh! It's stressing the heck out of me, man! How about you?" She swallows and nods. "Yes, but not that many. Just two." I take another sip. "So are you feeling better, now that you're out of the house?" "Oh yeah, definitely. Much better!" I smile. I'm glad she feels that way. Just then, The sound of an engine roars at us and pulls over to the side. The car looks almost identical to Salman's. I turn to Sahar and she has my same expression;

Worry.

He steps out with a girl, her fingers laced around his. I recognize her; it's Ashley. Just as they climb the steps to place their order, Ashley turns around and gives a face at Sahar and I. She taps Salman and giggles, pointing towards us again. Salman walks over with a pained expression and she follows. I eye them both. Salman is in his usual choice of clothing, jeans and a hoodie. Ashley on the other hand is better off wearing a bikini. She's in a barely there cropped top and cutt-offs so short you could see half of her rear end. Astaghfarallah (I seek refuge from Allah), I try not to look at her. Salman completely avoids my gaze and turns to his sister. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought Mama grounded you." Ashley giggles. "Wait, that's your sister. You two don't look related. Like, at all." She gives her a disgusted look and Sahar gives her the finger. I feel like hyping her up and sticking mine up too. But I hold myself from doing such a vulgar act. "I talked to her and she let me go out."                                                                                                                         "Liar,"                                                                                                                                                                                           "Man child," Salman clenches his jaw. "You're the most delusional, selfish little bi-" I stand up and cut him off, making sure the whole cafe could hear us. "You're the most delusional, self centered man I've ever met! I'm not even sure if you should be considered a man, making your sister's life hell! You're godless, Salman!" The words spew out like a fountain. I turn to face Ashley and she looks horrified. "Babe, let's just go. Who cares about-" I cut her off too. "Salman will never love you, Ashley. All he loves is his money, his car, and himself." I wanted to add, 'I know first hand', although we never really were an item. Maybe I felt a tiny ounce of caring for him back then but not now, not anymore. I could feel Salman's sadness and anger. He grabs Ashley's hand. "Let's go. They're not worth it," The whole cafe's practically silent by now, staring at this family drama. "Yeah, run, like you always do." I call out, shaking my head and taking a seat. He turns back on his heels and storms back to us. For a second, I don't know what it was I felt. 

Fear? Heartache? Defeat?

"I really loved you, you know? I was going to give it all up for you," He says softly. Tears collected in his eyes. If he blinked once, they'd trickle down. Everyone stares at us, stunned. I'm stunned too. I shake my head and soften my tone. "Don't give it up for me, Salman. Give it up for yourself. And most of all, for the sake of Allah," He blinks. The tears fall and I begin to cry silently too. It hurt me that he was hurt. Before I could ask if he was going to change and if things were good between us, he turned on his heels and left. He grabbed Ashley's arm and said something to her. She stormed off and Salman got into his car and drove away. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I finally said something. "I'm sorry I made this all about me. I hate doing that." Sahar gasps. "Bro, are you kidding me? That took guts. I should be the one apologizing for my mistake of a brother."                                                                                                                                                                              "Don't say that about him, Sahar. He's hurting, just like you are." She frowns at me. So I add, "Allah also judges us based on the steps we take to becoming better. We're all human. We all make mistakes." I sighs deeply and looks at the ground. "Let's just go home." I nod and we take the bus home. 

The bus ride was silent. Neither of us spoke on the events of tonight. I dropped her off at her house and walked to mine. Salman's car wasn't in the driveway. "Hey, how was it?" Mama asks. I'm climbing the stairs but turn to her briefly. "It was alright, not bad." She frowns. "Did you two get in a fight." I turn back around and resume climbing the steps. "No," I hold back my tears until I get into my bedroom. Once I'm there, I lock the door and cry myself to sleep. It was the wrong idea, going out the weekend before exams. At least I'll have one more day to review.