✮ Her head wished she had went on thinking he was an infuriating, overly-confident, horribly handsome asshole, that hated her people and always put himself first. Her heart knew he wasn't any of those things. He was a celestial; a man plucked from t...
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"Sometimes love gives us more pain than joy - but that doesn't mean it is worth any less."
—Laura Chouette
Astoria was sat on her bed, boots planted firmly on the floor with her head in her hands. She had made the excuse that she needed to get more arrows before they left, but truthfully she just needed a few minutes to herself. Staying behind while the others went to Polis wasn't an option, but, God if her body didn't want her to. She wouldn't let it stop her, though.
She needed to be where the action was. She couldn't be of any help to Raven in finding ALIE's code, because she wasn't smart in that way; she could read people, and navigate the forest, and keep those she loved safe. That was what she was good at - she was a fighter, but as the days passed it was getting tougher to be of any use. It hurt when she stood for too long, because the joints in her legs would begin to cramp up, and too much noise would bring on a horrible headache, but she had no other choice.
What good could she do - what use could she have - if she wasn't a part of the fight?
It wasn't too horrible, not yet anyway. She could last one more mission to save her friends, and then she would rest. She'd give in to her pounding head, and aching bones, and heavy arms from exhaustion. She'd spend more time in bed, and take care of her sick body. Once ALIE was gone, she'd relax. She just had to stomach one more fight.
When a knock sounded on her open door, Astoria jolted her head up to make it seem like she wasn't breathing through her pain. She stood to her feet at the sight of Bellamy, and had to stop herself from sighing in disappointment. If anyone was going to question her ability to join them at Polis, it would be him. Why couldn't Clarke or Thomas have come to get her? Why did it have to be the only person who could see through her fake smiles and dismissive eye rolls? Why did it have to be the only person she knew that was even more stubborn than she was?
"Astoria..." he tried, voice quiet and comforting. She quickly shook her head and turned back to her bed, grabbing her bow and pulling it over her head.
"I'm fine, Bellamy, don't worry about me," she brushed him off, forcing a smile as she threw her quiver over her shoulder. "We ready to go?" she asked, trying to change the subject.
When she tried to move past him out of her room, he caught her arm and forced her to stop. She took a deep breath and didn't look at him, instead watching the grey hallway as he watched the side of her face. "If you're in pain, you have to tell me," he whispered, and she took her bottom lip between her teeth.
"I'm not staying behind," she shook her head again, not being able to deny the fact that her body hurt. She didn't think any good would come from her telling him any more lies. "I can't stay behind."
"You're sick, Astoria," Bellamy reminded, almost as though she had forgotten. She pulled her arm out of his grip and move into the hall, ignoring his huff and the sound of his footsteps following her. "You need to rest-"
