Ceasefire of Hostility (a.c)

BARBIE; LIFE IN THE 3RD SEAT BACK

Bender starts to whistle a marching tune, which results in everyone joining in. Then, Vernon enters the library and they stop. Bender then starts to whistle Beethoven's Fifth.

"Alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch!" Vernon announces.

"Here?" Barbie asks in stupor.

"Here."

"Well," Andrew starts. "I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir!"

"Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew!"

"Uh, Dick?" Bender asks. "Excuse me, Rich- will milk be made available to us?"

"We're extremely thirsty sir," Andrew nods.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration," Claire adds.

"I've seen her dehydrated sir," Barbie says, playing along. "It's pretty gross."

Bender stands up, ready to leave. "Relax, I'll get it!"

"Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub!" Bender just gives Vernon a shit-eating grin. "What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?" He points at Andrew. "You!" He then points at Allison. "And you! Hey! What's her name?"

"Her name's Allison," Barbie sasses.

"Wake her! Wake her up!" Vernon demands. The substitute nods, and pokes Allison with her two week old acrylic nails. "Come on, on your feet missy! Let's go! This is no rest home!"

Allison gets up, rubbing the shoulder Barbie was poking at. "There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!"

Barbie felt lost without Allison there. Sure, they had just met that day, but Barbie could feel that her and Allison would be friends even after. And not a Claire kind of relationship, but a real friendship. She watched as Claire followed Bender to sit on a couch near a bookshelf before turning her head to her nails. She picked at the cuticle, not noticing Brian come up to her.

"Hey," he mutters, causing the blonde to look up. "What's your name?"

"Barbie," she answers. "I know yours already."

He chuckles. "Like the doll? Do you have a brother named Ken?"

"No, ew!" Barbie winces. "That's gross, Ken is Barbie's boyfriend. My brother's name is Alan, as in Ken's buddy. My mom wanted 'perfect kids' that she could treat like dolls."

"Is Barbie short for anything?"

"Barbara."

Brian nods, seemingly at a loss for words now. He notices Bender picking up a book and talking to Claire, who looks disgusted. "Want to go over there?"

"Sure!" Barbie gets up and follows Brian, sitting on a chair next to the railing he sat down on.

"Oh, Claire," Bender asks. "Would you ever consider dating a guy like this?"

Claire scoffs. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

"I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car. Although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun." Bender notices Barbie walk up. "What about you, Blondie? Would you date a guy with elephantitis of the nuts?"

"Hmm," she thinks. "Do I have to sleep with him?"

Claire interrupts before Bender can answer. "You know what I wish I was doing?"

"Op, watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry."

"A cherry?" Brian asks.

"I wish I was on a plane to France." Barbie nods. Claire motions for her to sit by her, which she hesitantly accepts. She'd rather talk to the Princess than listen to some stupid boy conversation. "Listen, I'm sorry."