DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #75 - more than words

⚠️ mentions of drugs and bad taste jokes ! ⚠️

'Tori? Had good sex, honey ?' Bessie asks, as soon as she opens the door to her room and welcomes me to her girly dome. I find her standing there, under the doorframe, wearing nothing but a boob tube top and a tight pair of hotpants. A glass of red wine in her hand and a smile on her lips, as she looks at me and asks me if I've had good sexy time with my hunk. I don't know if her curiosity was triggered by the fact that I had her and Chrissie had wait for me to appear in this room big time, and they naturally assumed I was too busy fucking... or if there's something in my appearance giving off post-shag energy. Maybe it's the reddish cheeks and the tearful eyes, but they weren't sex induced. They were -ex induced, without the s. I've just faced Mike, he told me a bunch of stuff that moved me, and I was literally a sob away from crying. And a bowel movement away from having diarrhoea, yes... but thankfully enough, I'm doing much better in that regard. The bowel movement sensation in my tummy stopped being an issue the moment Mike disappeared from my sight, and Bessie entered it instead.

'Noooo! Chrissie, Bessie ... I need something with a lot of alcohol in it'. I squeal, letting my friends know that I didn't get the elusive peepee, contrarily to their belief... and I also casually remind them that I'm an alcoholic. Which means, I drink my feelings away just in time before they fuck me up in the head even more. And now, I really need a drink before I go on and tell them what's fucking me up in the head. Coping. À la Victoria.

I throw my duffle bag on Bessie's kingsize bed, and I rush to sit right next to the beautiful Chrissie. Beautiful Bessie is pouring me a glass of red wine, ideal after the hashish that I've smoked with Sean, and I'm lighting myself a cigarette in anticipation of the booze. Chrissie is sipping on her tall glass of wine, sitting with legs crossed on the bed, and I wish I could do the same. That position looks so comfy... but I'm commando, and I don't think that my best friends would dig the sight of my lady bits. Nothing that they've never seen before, but today I'm feeling benevolent. And very very exclusive about my private parts. So, I just sit like a normal person would sit, and I discreetly cross my legs.

'Red wine for you. What happened?' Bessie speaks, as she hands me my own, freshly poured, tall glass of red wine. My friends know me, and they know that whenever I have swollen eyes and I ask for booze, it's because something wrong's going on with me. Everything's been going wrong with me today. One minute I'm happy and bouncing off the walls, and the minute after I'm on the brink of tears. And not because I'm emotionally unstable by nature, but because everyone's hellbent on making me become crazy today. What a day to be alive... and to think that it ain't over just yet. For what's left of this crazy fucking day, I just wanna chill with my friends, pimp myself up, and enjoy a lovely, romantic night out with my hunk. I deserve it, don't I ?

'I saw Inez...he told me that he loves me...'. I whine into my glass of wine, and I drink it dry in literally two sips. Like the latent alcoholic that I am. Bessie and Chrissie gather around me on the bed, both quite surprised by the piece of news I've just dropped. They thought that this was gonna be a normal girly catch up to help me get ready for my date with Sean, but my usual bad luck said no, and put Mike Inez on my way. I have some Inez tea to stir, and I know that Bessie and Chrissie can't wait for me to stir it. Only after that, we're gonna take care of the mess that I am, so that I will look presentable enough to go out with Sean.

Bessie eases herself on her seat, bringing the bottle of wine along. Because y'know, we're about to start a standard, Seattle Gossip Committee gathering here, Michael ex loverboy Inez will be the hot topic of tonight... and whenever we stir some tea, regardless of the topic, we gotta have booze with it. It's like rule number one of our fight club. Don't bring the tea, if you can't bring the booze too. Tea and booze go hand in hand in our three piece, girly ensemble, and I love that for us. Our kidneys? I don't think they are big fans of our ... habits. But we'll keep gossiping. And drinking. Everyday of our lives.