|| You make me better || ▪︎ennoshita x kenma▪︎

▪︎Tired and done▪︎

TW : self destruction, overworking, misuse of pills, blood
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During ennoshitas first year at karasuno, he was convinced by his two friends to join the boys volleyball club. He wasn't the most active person, he'd prefer to stay inside, watch romance dramas and eat ice cream.

That was just the type of person he was.

When he joined the club, he was immediately intimidated by the other members. His friends tanaka ryunosuke and nishinoya yuu were already very intense and outgoing, more outgoing and friendly extroverted colorful people. Not to mention how terrifying it was to meet asahi for the first time.

For some reason kinoshita and narita seemed perfectly in their element, and it made him feel isolated. Alone.

He didn't understand how they could feel so comfortable in such a loud energetic setting. He felt like the only person who didn't want to be there. Their captain was extra outgoing, and touchy.

Ennoshita was originally a setter, he found it easier up until seeing his upperclassman sugawara play in a practice match, and he quickly dropped that.

He'd felt he could never compete with him, and got too intimidated to continue trying. So he dropped it. But his fellow first years refused to let him quit the club. They told him he needed to do more sports, so he did.

It was draining, but he ended up taking after tanaka and being an outside hitter.

It was hard, but at least he could practice with someone he was familiar with. He kept practicing, hoping he'd get better, but he didn't.

He was far behind tanaka, and he was football fields away from being like his upperclassmen. After a month or so, he just felt helpless. He'd practice and practice as much as he could, squeezing it in whoever he could in his schedule.

After a while his coach started to get more intense, and ennoshita couldn't keep up with it like the other players. He would fall out of exhaustion before everyone else. He'd miss hits more frequently than others. He'd get tired easily. He just couldn't keep up and he didn't know what he was doing wrong.

He pushed himself and pushed himself, hoping for improvement but it never came.

And that frustrated his coach.

His coach would yell at him to get up, yell at him to try harder, yell at him to stop wasting time. He yelled at him for everything.

He felt targeted and no one stood up for him.

To ennoshita, that just proved the coach right. After a couple months, he gave. He didn't want to do this anymore, he'd cry everytime he looked at the volleyball nets set up and he popped a hole in his volleyball one night out of anger.

He was tired and done.

He didn't want to do this anymore, he just wanted to quit. He didn't care what tanaka thought, he didn't care how disappointed nishinoya would be, he didn't care how upset kinoshita and narita would be, he didn't care if his upperclassmen thought badly of him for it.

He wasn't staying.

There was only two more months left for the club before summer break, so he decided to stick it out. He'd just skip practice and ignore people who tried to talk to him about it.