I Can't Be Fixed. (DNF Angst)

Chapter 29: Family.

♡Dream pov♡

I felt my heart sinking at his confession.

"Three weeks ago." I repeated.

He nodded.

"I thought the medication was supposed to help with that stuff." I said.

"It did- it does - sometimes." He stuttered out.

"Why don't you tell your doctor then? Maybe the dose isn't high enough." I suggested.

He kept his eyes on his hoodie sleeve.

"I don't - I don't know." He stuttered.

He doesn't know? What does that mean?

"George, you need to tell someone who can actually help. I can't. Not with this." I told him.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't want to." He mumbled.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's - It's hard to explain. I'm afraid you won't understand or you'll think it's stupid." He replied.

"George, you know I won't think that." I told him.

He sighed and gently tapped his thigh with his pointer finger.

"Sometimes it feels like -"

He sighed.

"It feels like an escape." He stated.

"Your depression feels like an escape?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Most of the time, when I have depressive episodes, I want them to be over as fast as possible. Sometimes, though, they just feel so good. Like, the emptiness, I guess." He admitted.

He looked over at me, waiting for a reaction.

"I think I understand how you feel. You find comfort in your mental illness." I said.

He nodded.

"That's happened to me before, too. We should call your doctor and see what they can do. You can't live like this, and I don't want to see you struggling." I told him.

"But what if - if I-"

He cut himself off.

"What?" I asked.

"What if I can't be fixed, Dream? I don't want more medication. I'm tired of it. Why can't I just be normal?" He said.

4 words lingered. I can't be fixed.

George put his head in his hands. His body shook gently. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him closer to me.

"George, I don't want them to fix you. I want them to help you so you aren't struggling. There's only so much I can do for you in this situation." I explained.

He leaned his head against my shoulder. My arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I just don't want to lose you." I mumbled, looking at the envelopes.

I kissed his cheek.

"That's not all of the notes, is it?" I asked quietly.

He shook his head. I held him tighter. I knew one of them was addressed to me. It was the one he had written previously that he read in the hospital. There was one for Karl, Sapnap, Wilbur, and his sister.

"George." I mumbled.

"Hm?" He asked.

"You never told me you had a sister." I said.