Mortal Mishaps | 2023 Gen 3 Contest Entry | Collaboration

Chapter 9 | Present Day

A smile tugs at my lips. "We've got to stop meeting like this, Death," I joke lightly.

Death snorts and shakes their head. "Glad to hear you're still the same foolish mortal I met over 60 years ago, and age didn't steal your wisecracking."

I groan. "Do you have to make me sound so old? It's not fair." I spread my arms. "I grew all wrinkly and tired and you still look exactly the same as you did when we first met... Well, not exactly the same. I'm glad to see you have finally embraced the concept of color in your clothing."

Death looks at the unicorn patch. "Yes," they say. "It calms people down. The pink makes me more approachable, don't you think?"

"I don't think a being whose job it is to tell you you're dead will ever be approachable to most people, sorry." I snort loudly and stand to take a closer look. Immediately I note my movements don't hurt and are surprisingly supple. My bones don't creak, and my legs don't tremble with effort to support my weight. "Hey, I can walk normally again," I call out, promptly putting my theory to the test.

Walking is easy, and even running is possible again. I must look like an idiot, jogging circles in Death's waiting room while laughing, but I can't help it.

Death looks on with an amused chuckle. "I'm glad you're no longer in pain. You've stayed in your mortal shell longer than most."

I stop running. "Did I make it to 99?" I ask. "I was so close."

"No," Death bluntly says, never one to sugarcoat the truth.

"Man, I really wanted to reach 99. But you just couldn't miss me a day longer, could you?" I jokingly scowl at Death. "So, what got me this time? Last I remember I was listening to an audiobook."

Death opens their notebook and peeks down at it. "And you are still there in your apartment. You passed during chapter twenty-one of the audiobook. The morning shift nurse will find your empty mortal shell momentarily. Your friends will be grateful you died peacefully in your sleep after a long, fulfilling life, while doing something you enjoyed."

I nod slowly. "Okay, I only have one more question."

"Which is?"

I lean closer to Death in a conspiring manner. "Am I allowed to attend my own funeral?"

Death just stares at me. "Leif."

"What?" I ask with a grin. "Doesn't everyone secretly want to see their own funeral? Come on, I thought I had garnered some favor with you. I know I'm your favorite soul."

"I cannot show favoritism. It would be impudent."

"But I don't hear you denying I'm your favorite soul," I tease.

Death doesn't deny it. They're silent while I walk toward them and stop in front of them. "Am I allowed to stay with you this time?"

Death has their notebook open, but they're not furiously flipping through the pages this time. They don't even have to look down at their notes to provide me with an answer. "Yes," they say.

"I really died this time. Damn." I swallow. "So, what happens now?"

"Now, I will guide you on your next step." Death gestures at the door behind them.

I've never been through it. I wasn't allowed to before today. The door or whatever was behind it didn't scare me. If Death, my closest friend, was the one taking me there, then I would go without fear.

I walk to the door, Death right behind me. I reach for the handle, but look over my shoulder before I open the door. "Will I see you again after this?" I ask, chewing my lip.

"You will always see me again," Death replies softly.

I smile and cast off the last of my doubts. "Then I'm not afraid of anything," I reply. I reach out and offer Death my hand. They take it.

I take a deep breath. "Well then, what am I still standing around for?" I ask, pulling the handle of the door down. "I've got a date with Death!"

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