Wildest Dreams - c.l.

Stupid Me

Estella's POV again.

The sun was shining brightly into the room. I fluttered my eyes open and sat up.

Not again.

I woke once more having no clue where I was or how I got here. Only this time I didn't party last night more which made things more confusing. I tried to stand up but something was holding me back. I lifted the covers and found the one and only, Charles Leclerc snuggled into my side with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

I played with his hair trying to wake him up gently.

"Charlie? Wake up."

"No." He groaned and shoved his face deeper into my side.

"Charlie, how did I get here." This time he shot up and looked at me. He's eyes were slightly red and he had dark circles underneath his eyes.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" He was checking my temperature and was very frantic about my health.

I took his hands off my face and held them in my lap. "Charlie, calm down. I'm fine just tell me how I got here." I spoke softly to him.

He took a deep breath in. "After the podium I went to driver's room to see if you wanted to go somewhere" It made my heart skip a little that he wanted to spend his win with me. "But when I walked in you were having a break down on the floor. You passed out and I brought you here. I changed you, don't worry I didn't see anything. And then I put you to sleep." Oh.

I didn't know what do. He saw me have an anxiety attack. The only person to ever see me in that state was Tate. He probably thinks I'm weak now. I don't want him to treat me differently and I do not want his pity.

I let go of his hands and stood up. "Where's my stuff." I had a harsh tone, even if he cares, no one can know that I have these issues.

"What's wrong? Look I'm sorry that I brought you here instead of your home but Tate was at the party and I didn't know if I was going to be able to get you to your house. But don't leave like this." He was talking fast and trying to keep me in the room.

"It's fine, Thank you for helping. I had a moment but I'm fine now and I'm going home." I had collected my things off the dresser and was heading towards the door. I heard Charles follow. "Let me take you home."

I turned to face. "No Charles. This is not going to happen again. Go back to hating me." I turned around and slammed the door shut. It pained me to do it. But to have someone close to me like that, to see me, all broken and fragile, was not option. I won't let him walk with the burned of my past.

I walked all 30 minutes home. Tate was passed out on the couch along with Lando, Daniel, Carlos, and Isa. I ignored them and locked myself in the my bedroom. I ran the shower, waiting for it to steam. I stepped in and the water stung my entire body. The pain consuming me, leaving my body red and numb.

I started to cry. The pain of the water and my father were becoming to much for me to bare. I made my way to the floor and curdled up in a ball. My sobs were deafening but the water muffled it out. I was unheard and unseen. I was alone again.

Why was he here? Wasn't it enough to scar me? I don't look at myself in the mirror because I see her and I feel shame. He has told me countless times that I was worthless and a disappointment and it has never gotten easier. He used to be my hero. He'd tell the best stories when putting me to bed, we'd stay up late watching movies, and he loved surfing with me. But when mama was called to the skies he replaced his stories with hurtful words, movie nights turned to drunken nights, and loving me turned to hating me. I didn't care what he did to me, I never did anything about it until he laid his hands on Theo. Theo had lost his soccer game and dad was really drunk when we had come home. He asked how the game went and Theo told him that they lost by 3. That's when he stood up and stormed towards the poor boy. I wish I could've stopped it but I couldn't. After he had hit him, countless times, I gained control of my body and I slammed the bottle he had been drinking out of against his head. He fell to the ground and I took Theo and Violette to stay at Tate's house. We didn't come home for a month and when we did, he acted like nothing had happen. As if he didn't harm a 7 year old boy. Since that day, I worked my ass off to get us out of there.