Lost in the Truth

CHAPTER EIGHT

(Tw: rape, SA)

Cormac McLaggen forced my door open making me stumble back a bit by how fucked up i was.

He forced his way in and closed the door behind him. I picked up my dress and pulled it around myself covering myself as much as i could.

"Theres no need for that darling." he says as he locks the door and cast a silencing spell.

"Get out" i say as i raise my hand about to cast a spell but he knew all too well what i was about to do so, he grabbed my arms and pulling them behind me. Taking my dress off of me and ripping the sleeves off and using that to tie my arms behind my back.

He pushed me down onto my bed and began to climb over me i began to kick and scream at him to get off but he just slapped me to shut me up.

"Be quiet darling, don't want to upset me" he says as he flips me over on my stomach and begins to take off my panties. I squirm under him making him grab the other sleeve of my dressed which he ripped off and tying my ankles together.

I screamed and shouted as hard as i could but no one could hear me, i tried to conjure a spell any spell, but i couldnt move my hands enough to do it, i tried to break free with sheer force but i couldnt he was holding onto my wrists making sure i didnt move.

I knew what was coming next, i heard his belt clicking and coming undone, then i heard his pants drop to the floor and i shut my eyes closed.

I couldn't help but hate myself, if i wasn't high this wouldn't be happening. I would be able to get out of this. Then i felt him force himself in me. It hurt, although im not a virgin this hurt worse than when i actually lost my virginity.

He thrusted into me harshly, no rhythm and every thrust just hurt more and more. I couldn't help but scream every time he thrusted in. single tears streamed down my face as the pain became too overwhelming it almost made me forget how much i hated myself in this moment. Almost.

He kept going and the longer he went the more i just wanted out, he took his sweet time, and you could tell it was enjoyable for him.

A tear rolled down my cheek as his final thrust went in and he released himself in me. He pulled out and slapped my ass as a reward.

"Thanks for behaving love" he said as he lifted the spells he put on the room, untied me and got dressed again and left like nothing happened. And i laid there on the bed, unable to move.

After about fifteen minutes i decided to get up and go to the bathroom but as soon as i moved i couldn't help but whimper as everything in me was sore. I managed to stand up and as soon as i looked down i saw the blood in between my legs and the already forming bruises. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walk towards the bathroom.

I looked into the mirror and saw i cried more than i thought i did, my mascara and all my makeup really was running down my face and ruined. There were bruises on my neck. I traced my fingers over them lightly i winced in pain.

I shut the door of the bathroom and run the water for a bath. I stare at myself in the mirror as i waited for the bathtub to fill up, i removed my bra as best i could as my hands couldn't stop shaking.

I slip into the tub once it is filled and sink all the way in submerging my head as well. The blood that came off my skin tinting the water slightly. So I sat there in that bathtub crying for hours.

-

I hadn't realized how long i sat there until there was knocking on the bathroom door, it was ambrose.

"Hey bells, are you ready for training today?" he asked. It was morning already. I sit up in the tub and clear my throat

"Can we stay in today? I don't feel my best right now" i said with my voice cracking a bit. "Girl things." i say trying to find a valid excuse.

I step out of the tub letting the water roll down my body as I wrap my body in a towel trying to cover all my bruises. I make my way out of the bathroom and directly to my wardrobe where I put on something comfortable. I was still in a lot of pain. So i chose to cover myself up as much as i could.

"Are you sure? You never skip training for your period. Is there something going on" ambrose asks as he looks at me wearing the most baggiest clothes as i could conjure out of my wardrobe.

"Yeah im fine, i just need a rest day. You know from the party and everything. Im so hungover..." i say as i let down my hair still wet from the bath.

-

Ambrose did push further and believed my excuse as he spent the entire morning with me filling me in on the hot gryffindor he hooked up with last night.

I listened to him idly as he only sounded like muffled sounds to my ears, i couldn't seem to fully understand him but i tried to nod in all the right parts of the sections i managed to hear.

But i couldn't stop replaying last night in my head over and over again. I made me remember a few things i tried too hard to forget.

-

~Flashback~

Ilvermorny -Year 4: twelve months ago

"Hey bella are you okay? Some 3rd year told us they saw you and james fighting" ambrose said as he approaches me aimlessly walking through the halls of ilvermorny castle.

"Hmm? Oh yeah im fine." i say as i keep playing what just happened on repeat in my head.

"Bella? Are you sure?" avery asks and i simply nod. But i wasn't fine at all, my world had just crumbled right infront of me and i hadn't even realized it yet.

~one hour ago~

"Why were you talking to him?!" james shouts at me in the privacy of his dorm room

"James, I was just asking him about the classwork, I promise nothing else happened." i say back wearily

"Don't fucking lie to me Arabella!" he shouts again

"I'm not lying to you! I promise i would never do that to you." i say as im practically on my knees begging for forgiveness.

"You fucking whore, i knew you couldn't keep your legs closed for more than a second." he says as he gives me the first strike across my face. It was not an erotic slap this was a slap full of hatred and with zero remorse. He picked me off from the ground as i grab my face trying to subside the pain and threw me onto his bed.

"From now on you're going to think twice before talking to anyone other than me!" he says ripping my clothes off of me, against my pleas for him to stop and my struggling under his grip.

But i was a fool for him, deep down i still believed he was doing this out of love and care. Another strike pulled me out of my thoughts.

He undressed me further and finally slipped in me, continuously pounding into me as i screamed and shouted in pain, but all that was muffled by his hand over my mouth.

But deep down i thought this is how every boyfriend and girlfriend had sex, deep down i believed this was right, but it wasn't.

And that's how I lost my virginity.