Everything i Can't Say

i grieve

I grieve someone who isn't dead. But I grieve the

memories and brief joy instead. Like old paint chipping

off the walls of a house filled with secrets. I don't grieve

the cracks in the foundation. Instead I grieve the way it

imagination kept us safe from the raging storm. I miss

the memories we had together the shared laughs in the

calm of the storm. Our empty bellies shaking like the

walls of the empty house we were trapped in. I grieve

you. I try to put the chipping paint back on the walls

instead. But the walls remain stubborn and continue to

chip. Losing more and more of this house I'm trapped

in. I grieve the smiles not the smells. The I got yous and

not the go to hells. You were my firm foundation but I

couldn't be yours. So I grieve.