Feel the Beat - A Changjin FF

Chapter 14

When Changbin left the dance studio he didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to see his friends and tell them that he was the only one who had catched feelings during the bet. And especially not in front of Hyunjins teammates and friends. He was sure they wouldn't laugh about him but he still didn't want to see their faces. Because in the end him catching feelings meant, they could go to the show and he didn't want to see the joy in their eyes while he felt so bad inside.
He also didn't want to walk home. Home would mean silence and even more room for his thoughts to play with him.
He sended Minho a short text, telling him that Hyunjin had chosen the show and faked everything before he started to walk. There had been a light wind since the morning and now Changbin enjoyed the wind on his warm skin. He turned right  and left whenever he felt like it. He had no real designation. He just didn't want to stop. Because stopping would mean that his thoughts would start to walk around in his mind. So he walked and walked till the sun started to set. Just then he really looked around and noticed where he was. He had stopped in front of Minho's apartment complex. A small smile appeared on his lips as he noticed it. His body had taken him to the person he needed the most right now. His best friend. With a long breath out, he got in and took the elevator to Minho's apartment. Just now he noticed how tired and heavy his whole body felt. Finally in front of Minho's apartment, Changbin rang the bell and waited but instead of Minho, Jisung opened the door. For a moment both looked surprised.
“I didn't know you would be here. Am I interrupting anything?”, asked Changbin and started to play with the handle of his bag. “I will go. I'm sorry. Tell that hyung.” But just when he wanted to take a step backwards he was pulled into a tight hug.
“I'm so sorry, Hyung”, whispered Jisung against his shoulder.
“Dont”, Changbin whispered back. “It's not your fault.” He was close to tears again.
“It is! If I hadn't had this stupid idea everything would be fine. You wouldn't be hurt.”
“It is not your fault, Jisung”, Changbin repeated himself and he meant it. It hadn't been Jisungs fault. It had just been an idea but Changbin was the one who said yes to it. If he had been more mature, he wouldn't have let Hyunjin provoke him. So in the end it was his fault. They stood for a while, arm in arm, till Changbin heard Minhos voice behind Jisung.
“Let's get him inside, Jisungie.” Slowly, Jisung backed away and pulled Changbin inside. Just now he noticed that Jisung was wearing one of Minho's favourite hoodies. While Changbin took his shoes off and placed his bag in one corner of the hallway, Jisung had walked back into Minho's living room. Minho on the other hand had waited for him and when Changbin finally stood straight again he opened his arms without another word. And Changbin understood what the older one was offering. He closed the distance between them and let himself nearly fall into Minho's hug. He felt tears building up in his eyes again.
“I was so stupid, Hyung”, cried Changbin out, shaking his head. He felt Minho carrying his back softly rocking them from side to side. “And I thought he may also have started to like me.”
“You are not stupid, and you know that Binnie”, muttered Minho next to his ear. Changbin could hear how Minho forced himself to sound calm and he wondered what Minho was really feeling. Was he angry? “Let's get you onto the sofa, yeah? You must be tired.” Still with tears in his eyes he followed his Hyung into the living room where Jisung had prepared the sofa with a few cushions and a blanket.
“Thank you, Jisung”, he whispered when he let himself fall onto the sofa and the younger man had placed the blanket over him.
“Sure Hyung.” He sat down on the armchair and made space so Minho could sit there as well, after he had placed a glass of water next to Changbin on the table.
“Congrats for getting in the show i guess”, mumbled Changbin after a moment of silence. He saw how Jisung glanced at Minho and then at him. But just for a second before his glace went down to his hands.
“First of all, I could not be happy when you are so hurt. How could I, Hyung?”, he explained with a strange sounding voice. He cleared his throat, playing with the rings on his finger. Softly Minho placed his hand over Jisungs. “And second, we didn't get in.”
“What?”
“We didn't get in the show.” Changbin sat up, staring at Jisung.
“Don't look at me like I'm an alien.”
“I don't understand.”
“When Hyunjin told Mr. Choi our group would go, he told him the type of show was changed and that instead of a boys group he needed a girls group.”
“You are joking.”
“Sadly I'm not.” Changbin didn't know how to feel. He felt so much but also nothing at the same time. He couldn't believe it. Was the universe really that cruel?
“Funny”, he whispered and without really meaning to he started to laugh. Not the happy laugh more like… yeah like what? It felt like he was going crazy. He could feel the tears falling down his cheeks but he couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't even funny. It was just sad. Suddenly he felt Minho's arms around him again. Minho was talking to him in a soft voice but he couldn't understand anything. It felt like his voice couldnt reach Changbin. Like he was far away. Out of sight. He started to feel even more tired than before. And sooner than later he drifted to sleep.