Can we go through this?

#5

Pov. Lando

Wednesday afternoon Charles and Max came to my hotel room. In the morning we all had to train. After our training, they came to my room. We cuddled and watched a movie before I had to get ready for the evening. Together with the whole team we go out for dinner.

I bite my lip as I look in the mirror. I button up the last button and I look at the blouse I'm wearing. I turn to the side, back and other side and then back to the front.

It didn't look good. It's way too tight on my body. A few months ago, the blouse fitted better. I sigh and I squeeze my side to grab the fat.

I had fat on it. More than ever.

I had really put on some weight.

It makes sense that my car is heavier than Daniel's. I'm heavier than Daniel.

The longer I looked in the mirror the worse it seems to get. It seems that my blouse is showing more and more fat. I wrap my arms around my stomach and bite my lip harder. I look myself in the eye.

Awful.

I'm a dirty fat pig.

Why didn't anyone really tell me this? Why are Max and Charles lying to me? Why didn't say anything about me putting on some more weight? Jon?

My eyes go to Charles who I can see through the mirror. How do they stay with me?

Charles looks up and he looks at me and he smiles as our eyes lock in the mirror. It seemed like he knew that I was looking at him.

"Charles?" "Yes?" he puts his phone away and he gets up. "Answer honestly, okay?" I say and I remove my hands that were hiding my stomach. "Okay." "Is this okay? Does this look good on me?" I ask and I look in the mirror again. "You look beautiful Mon Amour." "Have I gained some weight? Do you notice that too? Is it bad?" I ask as I turn to the side. "What? No? Why do you think that?" "It's tight, look." I pull the blouse so that it falls around my body again. "This." I say and I run my hands over my stomach. I look back in the mirror. "I've gained so much weight." "That's not true Mon Chéri. Why do you think that?" he comes behind me and he wants to put his hands around my waist, but I duck and move aside.

He's going to feel it through the blouse.

"Lando." he says disappointed and worried in one. "Suppose I walk through the door and you see me for the first time in your life? What do you think? Should I walk through the door?" "Non Lando, nun." he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. "I see the most beautiful boy in front of me. You are beautiful, you are beautiful and beautiful." he says. "You're lying. Come on you can tell the truth. Maybe you see a whale walking trough the door. I've got more blouses in my-" "Stop this." he says and he grabs my chin and makes me look at him. "Tu es belle. That blouse looks very nice on you. You are not fat. I don't know where you got that from, Lando. Nothing sticks trough from that blouse, nothing. It shapes your beautiful body Chérie." he says and he lets go of me. "Come." he says afterwards and he pulls me in front of the mirror. He comes and stands behind me and he puts his arms around me and he puts his hands on my stomach. I want to dive away, but he holds me tight. "Non." he says and I bite my lip and inhale to make my stomach look flatter. "No, Lando. Relax. Don't do this to yourself, Lando, please." Charles says softly. I look at his gaze and all I see is sadness in his eyes. I relax and I look at myself.

"When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change. Cause you are amazing just the way you are. And when you smile, my whole world stops and stays like that for a while. You are amazing Mon amour, just the way you are. I love you so much, you are so beautiful. So so beautiful Lando." says Charles and he presses a kiss on my shoulder. "Je t'aime Mon Amour." I lean my head on Charles's shoulder and I close my eyes. "I love you Charles." Charles presses a kiss on my cheek and I open my eyes and I look at him. I turn around and I put my arms around his neck. "You are beautiful. Listen to me Lando, listen to me. You are so Beautiful. Don't beat yourself up Darling." "I'll try." I say and I see a moment of pain in his eyes. "But when I look at myself then... Ugh." I moan and hide my face in Charles his neck." No." Charles pushes me away from him. "Then what?" "No Charles." "Then what Lando?" "I don't have a body like you or Max. Fuck everyone is in good shape in formula 1, even in 2 and 3. I'm not, I'm not that fit. Look at George! I'll never get that!" "But you don't have to, Lando! Your body is beautiful. I love how your body looks. You are so beautiful." "You are beautiful! Max is beautiful! Not me. This is fat Charles, look! I have a belly!" I grab that edge of my stomach again. "That's your skin Lando! I have that too." "No! I feel it!" "No Lando, you're beautiful." "You only say that because you have to." "No because I mean it! I can watch you for hours." "This part maybe." I say, pointing to my face. "Everything. I love every inch you have. Trust me Lando, please. You're not heavy, far from it Honey." "I've got a belly Charles! If my team sees me now.... Fucking hell. This can be a reason to fire me you know!" "Lando! Stop this." "I mean it Charles! I can't look like this. I have a belly!" "You don't." "Yes! Look here! No don't look because if you see it then-" "Now you stop!" He shouts and I'm silent immediately. "Stop beating yourself up. You're not fat Lando, you're beautiful. I don't understand how you have it in your head that you have gained weight, because I don't see that. I like your body the way it is. Even if you are broader in the future, what does that matter. I love you and your body. I think you are beautiful, you are so beautiful. "