Addicted to the way it hurts (Heikazuscara)

Chapter 6

Scara's cries got louder after he had dropped the phone. He looked at the ground, his thoughts continued to race through his mind at the speed of light.

'Weak. Pathetic. You called him, you showed him how vulnerable you are, you're already attached to him. How could he even let him get this close?'

Scara tried to stop this pathetic crying, but it was impossible. His body wouldn't stop shaking and he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He felt so broken, so weak for falling to this depth. For even asking for Kazuha's help.

Suddenly Scara heard his door bell ringing, the person was knocking as well and he could make out a voice too.

"Scara? Are you here? Can you open the door?" It was Kazuha outside his door.

No... Kazuha actually came. Why? Why was he here? He couldn't let the albino see him like this.

Scara's breath was getting faster and his anxiety was rising more and more. What should he do now? Silently wait until Kazuha would leave? But would he ever leave? And what if he left? What if Scara couldn't control himself anymore and-

"Scara?" Kazuha repeated, his voice was calm, he was surely good at hiding his worry. "Scara, it's okay. I'm not here to hurt you."

The blue eyed boy took a deep breath, something about Kazuha's voice calmed him down, told him he was safe. "C-coming." Scara whispered and carefully got up.

His footsteps were slow as he walked to the door, his breath shaky as he stopped in front of it. His hand slowly reached for the handle, his eyes staring down at the floor as he gripped it.

Without a word, he opened the door and suddenly all the strength left his body and he fell forward. In a swift movement, Kazuha caught Scara by his waist as the blue eyed boy's head bumped against the albino's chest.

"Scara.." Kazuha whispered as he looked down at the other with worry. He could feel Scara's wet tears on his shirt, he could hear the soft sound of his breath.

Kazuha used all his strength to pick him up bridal style. "You need some fresh air." He spoke calmly as he carried Scara to the balcony.

The albino sat down in one of the two chairs outside and placed Scara on his lap with his head resting against Kazuha's chest. Scara's body felt so limp in the other's arms. He was clearly tired. So Kazuha slowly ran his hand through the his soft hair as a way to help him calm down.

Scara's body felt so tensed but after a few minutes he allowed himself to relax in the albino's arms.

Kazuha caressed his back, running his fingers up and down and making small doodles on Scara's shirt. "You're safe.. I'm here" He spoke softly.

Scara stayed silent, but he let out a quiet sigh as his eyes slowly closed. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was rest in Kazuha's embrace.

The albino smiled softly while he waited for the other to fall asleep in his arms, which didn't even take a full minute. He gently kissed the the top of Scara's head and held him a little tighter. He couldn't resist the urge to cuddle him.

Scara was so precious to him and he wanted to protect him from anything that could hurt him. Anything that could make him suffer again. Kazuha would trade his life for Scara's safety if he had to.

A few hours went by, Kazuha had spent the time by watching the stars above them and stroking Scara's hair. It was so soft and warm and Kazuha couldn't get enough of feeling it between his fingers.

Suddenly Scara yawned and his head lifted. "Huh?" He opened his eyes, looking up at the sky. He had felt so comfortable in Kazuha's arms that it was hard to tell how long it had been.

Then the blue eyed boy turned his gaze to the person holding him close. He wasn't fully awake yet, so he didn't speak up. He just slowly leaned into Kazuha's warm embrace again, ready to fall back asleep right then and there.

But a low, calm voice stopped him. "Hey..." Kazuha said "don't go back to sleep out here, my dear."

"I slept?" Scara replied in a tired voice. His eyes were still heavy. They were barely opening as he slowly sat up in the other's lap. "How late is it?" He yawned.

Kazuha chuckled sweetly. "Yes, you did. It's around 3am. Should we go inside and I'll bring you to your bed?" The albino suggested, his hands were now resting on Scara's waist.

"Oh.. already?" Scara muttered, looking up at the sky in surprise. Then His eyes shifted back to Kazuha who was looking at him with an affectionate gaze.

"Okay..." Scara replied, even though he didn't want to leave Kazuha's side yet.

The albino nodded and stood up with the other in his arms. Scara wrapped his legs around Kazuha's waist as he was being carried inside the apartment.

"Scara.." Kazuha said as he entered the blue eyed boy's bedroom "May I sleep with you?"

"Mmm.." Scara yawned in Kazuha's arms as he rested on his shoulder, his voice sleepy. He thought about it for a second, he usually wouldn't let anyone share a bed with him. But for some unknown reason, he felt okay with Kazuha. Maybe it was Kazuha's calm voice, or this warm feeling he had in his chest at that very moment. "Sure.." Scara whispered.

Kazuha smiled and put Scara down on his bed before laying next to him. He pulled the covers over the two of them and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Scara blushed the moment he felt Kazuha's lips. His breath caught in his throat, his mind was empty, his body felt relaxed and warm in Kazuha's embrace. He liked this feeling, he felt safe and comfortable with Kazuha.

So comfortable that he didn't even notice when exactly he fell back asleep.

The next morning, Scara woke up, his body pressed against Kazuha's. The albino was holding him by his waist. He didn't remember much of what had happened the night before.

Scara yawned and rubbed his eyes, only to find Kazuha facing him, looking right at him with a stupidly cute smile on his pretty face.  "Morning.." Scara groaned, he tried to look away but it felt like his gaze was glued to Kazuha's.

"Good morning, Scara" Kazuha said in a soft but low morning voice. It was calm and yet hot.

Suddenly a thought shot through Scara's mind and his eyes widened. "Did we... sleep together?" His voice seemed to be shaking a little and the words came slowly but there was a visible blush creeping onto Scara's cheeks at the same time.

"Well, yes and no." Kazuha replied and tightened his grip on the other's waist  "I did sleep in your bed, but we didn't sleep together in that way..." He pulled Scara a little closer, their lips only inches apart "...yet."