Addicted to the way it hurts (Heikazuscara)

Chapter 11

Heizou knocked on the door to Kazuha's room. His roommate had been in there since they had gotten home two hours ago, and to be frank, the green eyed one was getting a little worried.

"Kazu..? Are you okay?" He carefully asked.

His friend's voice snapped Kazuha out of his thoughts. He quickly wiped the tears on his cheeks to pretend he was okay. "I'm fine." He said but it wasn't very convincing due to his shaking voice.

"You're crying Kazuha..." Heizou replied concerned. "I can hear it."

"So what?" Kazuha spoke sternly. "Don't worry, I will be fine eventually." He just wanted to be alone, think everything over. By now he had realised that he had made a mistake. He felt guilty for what he had done to Scara. It had never been his intention. "Now leave me be, okay?"
Kazuha would feel even more guilty if he'd make Heizou worry about him. He had to stay away from his roommate for now or he would accidentally hurt him too.

"Why?" he asked, his voice filled with concern. "What even happened there earlier? Kazuha, tell me what's up." Heizou wasn't going to let his friend isolate himself just because of the mess that's been happening in his life. He would go to any lengths just to help the albino.

Kazuha teared up. "I.. I can't tell you. Not right now... I'm sorry, I'm sorry Heizou but i don't deserve your comfort right now."

Heizou's chest hurt the moment he heard the tears in his roommate's voice. "Kazuha, please..." he whispered as he knocked on the door once more.

But Kazuha didn't respond. He made no sound and just laid still on his bed, letting the thoughts and voices in his head take him apart.

He stayed locked up in his room for the next three days, only coming out to eat and drink when Heizou was at college. He didn't reply to the knocks on his door or the many times Heizou would shout his name.

Heizou felt his heart shatter with every single knock. Why wasn't he answering? How long would he continue to do this? Was there any way Heizou could help his friend right now?

When Heizou got home from college on the fourth day, he knocked on the door again. And to his surprise, Kazuha answered. Or more, he asked a question.

"Is.. he at college? Did you see him?" his voice was quiet and hesitant but Heizou heard it.

The green eyed one felt the weight on his chest become a little lighter. But that question actually had him puzzled. "Who?" he asked curiously.

"Scara..." Kazuha replied.

"No, he's not there." Heizou let out a sigh. "Kazuha..." He said slowly. "What happened between you and Scara?"

Kazuha sighed too, he was sitting with his back against the locked door. He could practically feel his roommates present behind him, his curiosity and his seriousness.

"I kissed him.. no, I made out with him.. more than just that.."

Kazuha looked down in shame.

"And then... I came home and made out with you, Heizou."

The albino confessed.

"...what" Heizou's eyes widened as he took a step back. He was too stunned to speak. He didn't know what to say or think and he was trying to process this huge revelation.

"I like both of you." Kazuha said, his tone was honest. "But you two... hate each other.."

"But you.. I thought you liked me."
Everything was happening so fast. Heizou's head was spinning. His friend liked both of them. How was that even possible?

"I do like you... I just.. also like Scara." Kazuha admitted. "Scara saw the hickeys on my neck. The ones from when you made out with me, Heizou. He was breaking down and I couldn't help him." Tears rolled down Kazuha's face when he thought about how Scara had had a panic attack right in front of him.

Heizou was starting to get a little frustrated. All those emotions inside him mixed together and created a big mess. "Just tell me. Do you like me or Scara more?" There was a hurt and desperate tone attached to his words.

"I like you both. the same amount." Kazuha responded, his voice a little more confident than before.

"That..can't be possible." Heizou scoffed. "There has to be someone you like more. Someone you prefer more. You can't say it's me AND Scara, we're the complete opposites."

"You aren't even that different, you know.. Get to know him Heizou, give him a chance, please." Kazuha said quietly, he knew Heizou didn't like Scara, in fact he probably hated him, now more than ever.

"Why do I have to get to know Scara? I don't care about him. How the hell could I even get along with someone like him?" Heizou yelled, his voice was getting louder as his frustration was growing.

Kazuha sighed and didn't respond. Instead he just laid down in his bed again, keeping his door locked for who knows how long.

Heizou knocked a few times, shouted some stuff but gave up after around 5 minutes. His energy seemed to be drenched from their conversation.

The next week Kazuha still spent most of his time in his room, sometimes he came out but he didn't talk to Heizou a lot and he also didn't go to college. He didn't mention Scara again neither did he meet up with him. Kazuha felt too guilty to do that and he was scared of hurting Scara again... or Heizou