Scara was now alone in his apartment, the events with Kazuha were still running through his mind. What the other had made him feel was more than he had ever experienced before. With every touch, with every kiss, he had felt something inside him shift in a way he didn't understand. But now that the albino had returned to his own apartment, Scara couldn't help but miss him and overthink the whole situation.
He walked up and down in his room, pacing over the wooden floor while the thoughts were racing in his head.
What even was he to Kazuha? A toy? A puppet he could play with? Or did Kazuha really like him? Was there a chance that Kazuha could do those things out of love? But Scara didn't know what love felt like, what if Kazuha just used him?
Despite all the doubts that were in Scara's mind, he could feel his heart wanting to be with Kazuha again, wanting to feel his touch again.
The blue eyed one shook his head. He had to stop those thoughts. Tomorrow in college he would talk to Kazuha, no matter how pathetic that would be. And if it was all just a game to that idiot, he would beat him up for good this time.
Scara didn't sleep well that night. Neither did he get up on time. As a result he skipped the first two classes which noone seemed to care about anymore, it was usual for him to show up late or not at all.
During class, his eyes were fixated on the albino. Scara watched every single one of his movements. His heart was beating faster and his palms were getting sweaty whenever Kazuha raised his hand to say something. Why did he have to participate so much? Why can't he just shut his mouth. Hearing the albino talk made Scara's head spin.
Despite his rising anxiety he followed Kazuha through the hallways after the class had ended. Scara stopped him right before the albino could reach the cafeteria.
"Kazuha."
He stood still and turned to face Scara. The moment his red eyes met blue, Scara's breath caught in his throat.
"Scara..." The albino greeted quietly.
Scara just looked at Kazuha for a moment and suddenly noticed the bruises on his neck, hickeys. But Scara wasn't the one who gave him those hickeys so who was it? Was Scara just a toy to Kazuha after all? Was he fucking around for fun or was Scara his victim? Did he want to show Scara how weak and pathetic he was?
He wanted to beat Kazuha up but he couldn't move a muscle. Scara just stood there, frozen in front of the other guy.
"Scara... is something wrong?" Kazuha asked carefully. He looked at the other for a moment, his eyes softening up as he noticed that Scara was in a vulnerable state.
"S-Shut up! Fuck you! Fuck you Kazuha!" Tears were running down Scara's face "Why.. WHY?" His voice was filled with anger and fear, it was trembling just like his body. He wanted to run, he felt like his chest was being ripped apart and his breath hitched, there was no air left in Scara's lungs and the more Kazuha's red eyes looked at him, the worse it got.
The albino however, couldn't understand the reason for Scara's outburst. "Why what..?" He asked confused but carefully. Kazuha tried to move closer to the other to offer comfort. "Scara?" He whispered quietly.
"Stop fucking touching me Kaedehara!" Scara pushed Kazuha away, almost causing him to fall to the ground.
By now there was a crowd of students surrounding them. Some of them giggling and others gasping. Kazuha was one of the most popular people while Scara was the trouble maker everyone was scared of. It was obvious who these people were cheering for here. Scara felt small and pathetic in the middle of this crowd. His vision was getting blurry and more tears streamed down his face.
"Scara..." Kazuha walked a step closer to the blue eyed one despite being pushed away by him. Kazuha didn't care what other people were thinking, his only focus was on the person in front of him. "Scara, look at me. The albino tried to grab the other's shoulder.
"TAKE YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME!" Scara yelled, making everyone flinch for a second.
But the loud noise also attracted one of the teachers who had been in the cafeteria. He quickly made his way through the crowd of students and gripped Scara's arm tightly, hurting him a little in the process. "What are you doing again, Scaramouche?" His voice was loud and stern. Then he began to drag Scara away while Kazuha just watched in silence.
The albino would be lying if he said he didn't worry about the other. The way Scara had been so terrified scared him. Kazuha's frustration was growing. He wanted to talk to Scara, try to resolve things but it was too late for that now.
The crowd began to disappear and Kazuha sat on the floor, all by himself. The thoughts inside his head were louder than ever. He had scared someone off – AGAIN. His eyes were fixated on the floor, they were no longer glowing like a sunset but rather dark and dull like thick blood. There were no pretty words coming out of his mind, there was no charming smile forming on his lips. Maybe he should have just stayed away from other people. Or maybe he should have died all those years ago. Why would he go around, thinking he could help others, thinking he could help himself, while actually he was just making everyone's lives miserable and-
"KAZU!" A familiar voice suddenly pulled him out of his circling thoughts – Heizou.
He had rushed over to Kazuha after seeing him on the floor. Now he was looking at the albino with worry in his eyes. "What happened?" He asked carefully.
Kazuha remained on the floor, not saying a word nor moving a muscle. His expression was emotionless, he seemed as if he was in a daze.
The green eyed one didn't know what to do, so he just hugged his friend tightly and whispered. "Do you want to go home Kazu?" He asked as he rubbed the other's back.
Kazuha nodded slowly. "S-Scara..." The albino tried to call out but his voice was so quiet that he could barely speak. "Yeah... I want to go home." he said softly.
"Alright" His friend replied and helped him get up.
They made their way home to their shared apartment
Kazuha was quiet as he was led by Heizou. His mind was filled with thoughts about what had happened earlier, his heart still ached with the thought of Scara and how terrified he had been.
What could he do to fix this mess- no, was he even able to fix anything at this point? Simply giving up truly seemed like a much better option.
YOU ARE READING
Addicted to the way it hurts (Heikazuscara)
Fanfiction!!!discontinued!!! Scara, who was known as the aggressive and unapproachable guy in college, had piqued Kazuha's interest for more than just one reason. When the albino saw him in the empty hallway, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to make his...
