Carter's Savior

Seven

Carter's POV

I spent the rest of the week at Uncle Ray's. I couldn't be in that house anymore. Around a bunch of people who didn't even care I was upset and I was hurting. 

Who refused to see it? 

They just assumed I was acting out for attention. Even while I was gone, not a single person tried to reach out to me other than Ezra and UK. They seem to be the only people in this world that give two shits about me. Not even my own family... They stopped caring a long time ago. They looked at my silence as a way of throwing a fit. 

That's not the case. At least it wasn't this time. 

No, this time my mate basically gave me a giant "fuck you". He didn't want me. That's cool. I understand that. I've been a dick to him for years. But it was still strange to hear...I never thought Sloan would reject me. I thought that maybe out of everyone he would be able to look past my bullshit and see what's real. 

Nothing will happen. 

Those three words kept ringing in my fucking ear. I shouldn't even care. I don't know why I did. But it hurt like shit. And yeah, I know I have a lot to handle. I'm loud and sarcastic, and I say things I shouldn't. I've fucked every woman under the sun just to feel something. Who would want that as a mate? 

I wouldn't.

Z seemed perfect for him. He was nice. Sweet. Quiet. And the whole family loved him. He can take my place as the token black of the family. I'm sure they wouldn't care or even notice if they replaced me. They'd prefer it. Maybe I'll suggest that the next time I visit UK. 

The ride back with Addi and Sean was quiet. I didn't say anything. Not much in the mood to talk anymore. Feeling extremely annoyed with the sound of my voice these days. I hate myself even more. Wondering why I was put on this godforsaken earth just to suffer.

Addi maybe looked back a few times at me with a worried look on her face. But that was about it. She never asked, and Sean yeah he didn't care. Never had never will.

We got home a few hours ago, and I was already outside training. Sparing with the other wolves. And of course, Sean decided to follow my lead. He never has his own original thoughts. Pops was out here and I wanted to show him that even though I might have been shitty this week, I'm more than ready to lead the pack.

Even though my relationship with my parents was an ass, I still knew what being the oldest entails. I was going to be the alpha and I was over the moon. It was the one good thing I have to look forward to, and I'm not going to lose this. Ruin this. Nope. No way. I needed one good thing. One. 

I know everything there is to know about leading a pack. I was born of alpha blood and I was made for this. It was my fucking destiny to lead and to guide. To be a protector of hundreds. And I'm going to do my hardest to make sure I succeed in that so I can finally get a 'well done'.

I knew Pops was watching. He always did. But the thing was I never knew what he thought. In all my years of training he never once told me he was proud of me, or that I was doing good. And Dad didn't like violence so he never watched. Or so he says. Though on occasion I catch him out here with pops and watching him spare.

I try not to take it personally, but how else am I supposed to take it?

I trained every day. And I fought harder and got stronger to prove to him I was worthy of his praise. But no matter how hard I tried it was never enough. Here I was winning another match. And my pops face held nothing. Never did.