Carter's Savior

Eight

Sloans POV

Something is wrong with Carter.

I feel it.

Something has felt wrong since Carter left lunch and wasn't back for the rest of the week. That knock was loud all week, telling me to go find him. I kept asking Pop's where he was but he wasn't budging. Instead, he would leave for hours at a time and he would come back smelling like him. I was drowning in jealousy and Loren was growling in anger. I wanted to yell and cuss him out. Tell him to force Carter back and be surrounded by his family. 

To be surrounded by me, if anything. 

But he didn't.

It tore me apart in a way that I never thought. I wanted nothing more than to 

What was worse was when it was the day for them to leave and he was back. My Carter looked miserable. The knock was so loud and I couldn't focus on anything. I wanted to walk up to him and say something, trying to ease the loud knocking in my chest. But he was in and out so quickly. It made me wonder if Ezra packed his bag beforehand. He ran inside so quickly that it was almost as if he was barely there. I hadn't had the chance to leave my room to go see him before he was in the car leaving. 

Leaving me.

It made my chest burn, and feel on fire. It hurt, but I understood. I mean what do I expect him to say when he heard me say that there was nothing between us? When that was the furthest thing from the truth. There was everything between us. Everything and more. So much more.

But this...this is worse.

I feel it.

That insistent knocking was loud and ringing in my ears. I can't even think or speak, all I can hear is the knock.

I was pacing back and forth in my room, trying to calm myself down but it didn't work. Nothing worked. Loren was pacing too and we were both overwhelmed with emotion. I had texted him a few times. Something I've never done before but no response. I'm sure he didn't even know I had his number. I just stare at it sometimes and I imagine texting him myself. The conversation we would have. The things I'd say to make him laugh.

But of course, I don't tell anyone that. That's a sign of mental illness.

I don't think I was expecting a text back, but I think I was. Even if it was a 'leave me alone'. Something. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I even had Ezra text him and there was no response and this was hours ago.

I feel it. 

Something very bad happened. That's the only explanation of why I felt this way. Why the knock was so strong and pounding in my head? Every nerve in my body was telling me to go to him. To find him. I was so close to doing it. Walking into his room and keeping the darkness out and away from him. 

It also didn't help that Z was still here and there was this tension between us. I mean of course there would be, he knew something was wrong with me the first time I rejected him when it came to sex. Of course, Z was persistent and tried every day so far, but I've been able to get out of it. But I already knew there was no way I would be touching him again. I already hurt Carter once, I won't hurt him again. Especially not in that way. I'd never touch another again, I never should have in the first place but I can't change that. All I can do now is make sure the only person I touch next is my Carter.

There was a knock on my door and Pops walked in with a worried look on his face. His hair was pulled back so I was able to see his every feature. Something was bothering him terribly and of course, my first thought was Carter. He closed the door behind him but he stood there with his head hanging low and sighed deeply. Fuck. Something happened. I knew it.