Our fallen souls [EN] (High Enough) : VOLUME 1

37 - Blake

I wake up and, almost mechanically, bring my fingers to my lips as if I can still feel hers on mine.

Then my hands fumble around beside me, but the space is empty.

Where the hell is she?

I rub my eyes, trying to gather my wits with the meager sleep I've had.

She dared to leave after that moment? Shit, it's true that I usually never sleep with them, I leave too, but it's not the same with the others. Seeing my goddamn bed empty makes my heart sink.

I stand there, lost in thought, when a loud knock on my damn door startles me. I hastily pull on a crumpled T-shirt, trying to regain some semblance of decency, grabbing my things from the floor.

I open the door, hoping it's not another galley coming for me. And there I see my fucking brother, with his usual charming smile. Beside him, Cassie puts on a warm face, but her gaze stops for a moment on my neck.

"Hey, man! We didn't wake you, did we?" says my brother.

"Uh, no, not at all," I reply, trying to put on a brave face.

"Cool! We were just going to get some coffee. Would you like to join us?"

I notice Cassie flashing a knowing smile, as if she knew something, but she doesn't say anything.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there," I say, closing the door behind me.

Maybe some fucking coffee, with my brother and Cassie, will take my mind off this goddamn absence in my bed. I could use a damn cup of coffee, after so few hours of sleep because of her. I get dressed, silencing those damn questions that keep going round and round. I grab a fag from my pack and light it before opening the door.

"No smoking in the hall," Cassie teases as I close the door.

I give her a perfunctory smile before joining them.

We're making our way to the Starbucks on the corner, when I spot a familiar silhouette in the distance.

I'd forgotten how often she comes here with Cassie. My heart races at the thought of seeing her, but at the same time, I'm torn between joining her and running as far away as possible. She's dressed in a gray hoodie with a plaid jacket, and she's fucking drop-dead gorgeous. Her eyes light up when she spots us, but when she sees my face, she freezes. Surprised to see me here, I'm sure. I can't help wondering what she's thinking, what she's feeling right now. Cassie lets out a hello, still with that childish, playful air I hate every time. Jo says hello to Clyde and starts a discussion with him, and it's at this damn moment that Cassie, entering the café, approaches me.

"I've seen his neck, and your neck, Blake," she whispers.

She gives me a mischievous smile.

"So, how was it?"

"Mind your own business, Cassie," I retort with a fake fucking smile.

She ruffles my hair, a gesture that makes me tense up even more.

We get to Starbucks and sit down at a goddamn table. I'd like to get the hell out of here, get the hell away from this situation that's driving me crazy. But here I am, ordering a black coffee to make myself look fucking normal. I do everything I can to avoid meeting Jo's eyes. The minutes tick by like hours, and I struggle to keep my composure. Cassie finally breaks the silence by throwing Jo a question about her college classes. I watch her come alive, her face lighting up with a passion I knew well. I'm overwhelmed by a mixture of feelings: admiration for her fucking passion, sadness that she's gone, and this damn fear that's gnawing at me, this fear of revealing to her how I really feel.