In love with a Lolita

Chapter 19- Reality check

In love with a Lolita

~ Chapter 19- Reality check ~

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School was great, in fact, I was shocked we had a little catch up sessions in the library as it was Christmas tomorrow and everyone else was on break, it was quiet they weren't attacking me left right and center this time. I was saved from the harassment my pink Lolita outfit with the patterns didn't seem to stand out anymore. I didn't question it, in fact, I walked by with poise. But it didn't help I was thinking of my father a lot and the process of things.

Was I even getting to closer to knowing or was I just in the same place? Baby Loli seems like it suffered as much as I was here. It was my secure place and now it was gone how that was possible that one minute it was fine, the next it wasn't. I felt like I got thrown in the deep end with my father's death, could it have any better timing. I felt as if everything was connected in so many ways my meeting with Cyrus, the brothers even my estranged mother. It was hopeless to believe in anything anymore, I felt like I was walking into a scripted movie.

My clothes ruffled against my skin, no one was staring anymore. I wonder why, was I not up to their eyeballs with my bizarreness anymore? I had a flashback of when I first wore it, the smell the day itself and the shock in people's face. That was pure gold when I felt the clothes hang onto my body like a trophy I knew what I loved. I knew what I enjoyed, I knew a lot, but never realised how naive I was. There were a few people like me, in fact, we had met through the internet I didn't realise then that people could come together in many ways. They too wore the same clothes as me, but I wonder now if they even still wore it.

Memories of them had a positive feeling, I liked that I could think of the two girls I used to hang with wearing the same clothes as me. Who didn't care about what others thought that it wasn't cosplay but a form of creativity in my fashion world? I've seen many bizarre outfits and I was sure there wasn't a limit on the clothes people wore, but there was stigmatism on it, just like goths and emos.

Buzz Buzz

"Oh my god" I breathed

I picked up the called and in came the two voices, what in the world. I thought I would never hear them again. I felt like crying it felt so familiar hearing them and I was scared to even talk.

"Hello, Elsa are you there?" I heard a meek voice and I cleared my throat

"It's me!" I cried as if it wasn't visible enough how much I was shaking with fear.

I didn't even realise that I had walked past Cyrus, who waved at me, I must have looked too frightening I mean it was the first time I was laughing heartily. I caught his amazement before I walked away with the phone attached to my head.

"Girl, where the hell are you we need to meet up!" Amy cried out, she was a stocky girl with amazing red hair that went past her waist the last time I saw her, she was still as beautiful.

"Where are you guys?" I asked curiously

"We're both at Bay county centre for shopping meet us if you can, we need to catch up, Kerry say's hurry up soon" Amy giggled and I sighed, how glad I was that they were together still.

"I'll try to meet up enjoy the trip" I replied back and clicked the phone off; I stared at the short conversation we had. I felt my heart squeeze, I never wanted to go back home it was a memory I didn't want anymore.

That was my past, I was trying to live my present and it was hard. It felt like a lifetime since my father passed away and I do all these odd jobs. And now staring down the phone in my hand, I realised that I actually missed that little old part of me.