PSYCHO 《 stranger things 》

- epilogue

epilogue!

CASSIE HARGROVE WAS A LOT OF THINGS.

Cassie Hargrove was a liar. She lied about her family, she lied to her family. She lied about how she felt, if things bothered her. She lied about hating her brother, about the effects of his death. Cassie lied constantly about a lot of things. It was the one thing that stayed consistent about her until the very end. The last thing she ever said was lie. It did hurt, quite a bit actually, to die. But it wasn't physical pain, she'd lost feeling long before she left her friends, it was emotional. She didn't want to die, but she was glad she did instead of Max. Cassie even lied about being able to write letters. It wasn't to say that her letter was any good, or that it properly displayed her emotions, but it was a letter. It was for El. How could she not write to El? After everything? One of Cassie's final thoughts was hoping that El got her letter, and understood.

Cassie Hargrove was attention-seeker. She had been her entire life. She sought the thrill of having admiring eyes on her, because she never received praise or admiration from people that mattered. Cassie loved the adrenaline rush of doing something stupid and having no fear in her mind that she was going to get hurt, because she simply didn't care.

Cassie Hargrove was horrible at communication. She knew it, her friends knew it, everyone knew it. Cassie hated talking about things that were serious. She didn't do feelings or emotional talks or anything even in that ballpark. She hated it, because it was hard for her.

Cassie Hargrove was an athlete. A good one at that. Despite her mediocre grades, her coach was certain that Cassie could get a scholarship for basketball to a good college. Cassie never believed she would make it that far. She was right.

Cassie Hargrove was a lover. She hadn't always been. Before meeting the party, Cassie closed her heart off to everyone. Then, like submerging her head into ice-water, the walls around her heart shattered so fast it almost scared her off. She grew to care for everyone, in ways that she'd never cared for anyone. In ways that no one had ever cared for her.

Cassie Hargrove was brave. Cassie Hargrove was comedic. Cassie Hargrove was confident. Cassie Hargrove was cool. Cassie Hargrove was a best friend. A sister. A daughter. A teammate. She was tired. Sad. Anxious. Cassie Hargrove was so many things, but mostly, Cassie was lonely.

Cassie always thought that being alone and being lonely were the same thing, so she surrounded herself with people. People who cheered for her, or thought she was cool. People who cared nothing about her beyond a surface level. Cassie loved to pretend she wasn't lonely anymore, when she had never felt so alone in her life. When she wasn't being fought or screamed at, she was ignored at home. For years, she had no one. She just had herself.

When Max came along, Cassie convinced herself for a long time that Max wasn't an actual friend. They bonded by force, of pure convenience for them both. It took Cassie a long time to realize that Max actually cared, and even longer to realize that she cared for Max too.

Max knew Cassie probably better than Cassie knew herself. Cassie never really was in tune with her thoughts or feelings, but Max could read her like a book. Max's first impression of Cassie was that she was a rude, cocky, and annoying replica of her older brother Billy. That image of her quickly changed. While Cassie never let anyone close to her heart, Max knew that said heart was one of gold. She noticed the small things that Cassie did, like sit with the lonely kid at lunch and just talk away. Or helping someone pick up their books in the hall. Or purposefully make someone laugh when they were sad. Max wondered if Cassie knew how good of a person she actually was, especially since the blonde thought so little of herself.

Max knew that Cassie didn't let many people affect her life, but she would never know of the endless stories that people had of the affect she had on theirs. Some people had never even had a full conversation with Cassie, but she had made them laugh, or even just smile, and that means a lot more to some people than others understand.

Max knew all of these things about Cassie because she loved her. They were sisters, blood or not. Max loved Cassie more than she'd ever loved anyone, and the pain seemed like it would never fade. It was as if a piece of Max had died that night too, and it was causing a physical pain in her chest to even exist without her. While everyone talked for ages of how amazing Cassie was, all Max could think of was how much better Cassie deserved. Cassie spent her whole life being taken for granted, and it was so unfair that the universe just couldn't let her live after everything else she had been through.

But Cassie Hargrove died in peace, looking up at her sister and just being happy that she was alive. All Cassie had wanted was for Max to be the one to live.

THE END.