Trojan Horse

5 - L'appel Du Vide

Minna considered the racquet in her hand. It was red, with golden yellow embellishments. It was lighter, and though Minna was used to a medium-heavy racquet, she could see the appeal of a lighter one. The other racquet, which she had left on the rack, was much heavier, and Minna considered it for a moment before walking toward her teammates, who were gathering on the inner court around Jeremy. He was separating them for scrimmages, and Minna was put into group two-A immediately.

That meant that she wasn't going to be a sub. She was starting — and maybe, just maybe, it meant they would move her to the starting line.

"Hey," Laila said. She flashed Minna a grin. "Ready to join us on the starting line? It'll be fun, I promise."

Minna's lips twitched. "Do you?"

Laila grinned and turned away, jogging for the goal. Minna followed her fellow backliner, Holden, to the defense line. He gave her a once over, then nodded as it to say that he approved.

She flashed him a small smile and set herself up, fitting her helmet on and tucking her braids under her jersey, where she always put them.

The strikers in front of her, and the dealer between them were ready and Jeremy looked over at her. She nodded to him, once, and then he and the vice captain signaled the start.

"Minna!" Laila shouted. "He's coming —"

Minna was running before Laila had finished. Her vision narrowed and she caught her mark halfway, swinging her racquet with more force than necessary, stealing the ball and flinging it to the dealer. She threw the ball in turn, to the nearer striker.

"Ow," Alden said with a smile. "You used to heavy?"

"Mostly," Minna said and pushed him back. He swore when the ball came coming at them again and Minna body slammed him when he caught it, stealing it again and throwing it across the field. She used only two steps to get free and then she cut Alden off again by pushing her racquet in his way to step in front of him to push him closer to the far-court line.

She kept conversation to a minimum, keeping him pinned with maneuvers that she couldn't quite remember if they were Raven or not.

By the time the scrimmage had come to a close, Minna was tired, but she hadn't needed to be subbed out. She had watched her teammates switch with their subs and hers looked frustrated that he hadn't been sent on. Minna didn't feel bad — no Raven, current or former, would have.

Her tattoo itched at the reminder that she wasn't her own person. That she never would be.

Minna clenched her fingers around her racquet and jogged up to Jeremy, who was calling for groups two-A and -B to come onto the court.

"Hey," he said with a grin. "That was awesome. I've never seen anyone keep Holden pinned so long. Anyway, I've still got another play, so go take a rest. I'll talk to you later."

Minna saluted him jokingly and her lips twitched at his grin. She jogged toward the benches and took off her helmet and gloves and bandanna and put her racquet back in the rack.

"That was sharp," Cat said with a grin.

Minna threw her look for interrupting her peace.

The older backliner just laughed. "I'm complimenting you."

"Right," Minna said dryly. "You played well, across the field, but you can work on conserving your energy. If you burn through your reserves that fast, you'll never last even a full half."

Cat weighed her words. "Maybe. But we always have more than enough subs."

"The subs aren't the problem. If we ever play the Ravens, we'll need to last as long as we can. They don't carry for long, most use heavy racquets, they all have insane accuracy, and if they break past us, they'll always win."

"Minna, that's months away."

"We still have to think about it," Minna said sharply. "Riko won't stay down for long. He's going to come for me — and by extension, you guys."

"Have you heard the phrase 'L'appel du vide'?"

"I'm fluent in French, of course I have."

"Well, you're feeding the urge for destructive behavior when you do that to yourself. Think positive for once."

"Do you think I grew up on positivity?" Minna snapped. "I grew up on a fucking Exy court with mental and physical abuse. I have all the scars to prove it. I was owned — only my brother could ever see me as a person because his wings were clipped when he still knew freedom. I don't know how to think anything but arrogance or pessimism."

Cat spread her hands apologetically. "Alright, Minna, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know how you grew up, and I admit it that I really don't want to. I'll never understand it because I am privileged. Just try to hope sometimes. Be less analytical and more... I don't know, instinctual. It's how we run, here. We plan and we play. We focus on the fun aspect, you know?"

Minna shrugged it off and laid down on the end of the bench, turning her head to watch the plays. Cat took the hint and left her alone.

Minna watched the plays, and her concern for their techniques grew and grew. Laila, it appeared, was the only Trojan who could really lock down the goal. The backliners could pin their striker marks, but their strikers carried as long as they could. They passed when they had to, not every time they could — which could help them get closer to goal.

Minna shut down the Raven strategies coming up in her head. She was not captain or vice captain. She was a freshman — she shouldn't be judging their playing.

"Minna!" Jeremy said as he jogged over. "My legs are dead, but you wanna talk now?"

Minna sat up and stared at him.

"Cool. The way you kept Holden pinned — you kept pushing him closer to Eliza, the dealer, and then Robin. You think you could show the others how to push like that?"

Minna shrugged. "If they'd listen to me."

"Minna, you're literally a celebrity," Laila said, staring at her. "Of course they'd listen to you. And besides, Coach decided to bump you to the starting line, that's why you were a group A."

The younger girl looked over her shoulder. "You told me, at the start of our scrimmage, remember?"

The goalkeeper shrugged and smiled. "Just making sure you remembered."

Minna's impassive expression cracked a little and she managed a small smile. "Sure."

"You're lucky a starting backliner graduated last year," Jeremy said with a wink. "You're not kicking someone off the line."

Minna's lips twitched again and she nodded.

Being a Trojan was nice.

•|⚜️|•

Yay? I mean, Minna obviously has some issues to work through, but she's playing her game and she's confronting her past.