Trojan Horse

6 - The Desperation of Someone Broken

Minna settled into a routine during summer practices. She managed to avoid too much time with her overenthusiastic new "friends". It wasn't that she didn't like them — she did, she really did — she was just a little intimidated.

Funny, how that worked.

Or not, depending on how you look at it.

Minna found her own timidness amusing, though. She had nothing to be afraid of — and yet... Her body still remembered what had happened the last time she'd gotten close to someone. Minna covered her mouth with her hand as the bile rose again.

It wasn't enough this time. Minna rolled out of bed and bolted down the hall. Laila looked up, startled as Minna passed her in the hall, but Minna didn't stop to look at how Cat had Laila pinned to the wall. She threw open the bathroom door and lifted the toilet seat. She grabbed the toilet bowl as the little she had managed to eat came up. She gagged at the taste in her mouth and clutched her empty stomach, tortured whimpers breaking from her lips. She wiped her face off with a paper towel and sat against the sink cabinet.

"Minna?" Laila asked gently. "What's wrong?"

"Call Kevin," Minna gasped. Her stomach rolled and she wrapped her arms around herself, staring at the shower curtain.

Cat entered, Kevin's line ringing, and Minna held her phone with the desperation of someone broken. Laila backed out, taking Cat with her, and the sound of the dorm door slamming echoed in her mind.

Voices circulated in her brain. Riko's, Jean's, Kevin's — and her own.

"Minna?"

"Kevin."

"Whats wrong?"

"It happened again."

"Fuck. Andrew, we have to go."

Andrew's voice cut over the line. "Why?"

"Minna's hurt."

"How?"

"I threw up," Minna whispered.

"You can't fly to the other side of the country, Kevin."

"I fucking could, Andrew, and you know it. I just can't FaceTime her in here."

"Don't," Minna said. "Don't fight."

"I'm sorry," Kevin murmured. "What caused it?"

"I've been off all day."

"Minna."

"I was just thinking about Jeremy and Laila and Cat and I started feeling sick. Then I threw up."

"Oh, god. You should talk to the psychiatrist — isn't there a Dr. Bak?"

"Yes."

"Talk to him."

"I know."

"Who can help you?" Andrew asked.

"I don't know."

"Minna, breathe," Kevin said. "C'mon. In, two three four. Out, two three four. In, two three four — that's it. Keep doing that, okay? Is anyone around to help you? Next door, maybe?"

"I got it," Jeremy's voice said. Minna fought the hard flinch as the blond knelt beside her and eased the phone from her grip. "Thank you."

Kevin hung up. Jeremy took Minna's hands in his own, gentle.

"C'mon," he said. "You should get back in bed."

Minna looked at him, her mind flashing. One second Jeremy was Jeremy; the next he was Kevin — same worried expression, but this one written with fear.

Minna closed her eyes, an old pain throbbing on her eye, forgotten bruises pulsing on her skin. Scars itched, like healing wounds.

"Minna."

She forced her eyes open, the white bathroom snapping her out of her own mind. Her breathing slowed as Jeremy counted box breathing, and she watched his expression melt into relief.

"C'mon."

Minna took his hand he pulled her to her feet. She stumbled — once, twice — and Jeremy steadied her, wrapping an arm around her waist and walking her to the living room. Laila's expression eased when she saw the younger girl, making room on the couch for Minna to sit and then get wrapped up in a blanket.

"What happened?" Laila murmured, taking the bowl of chicken noodle soup and offering it to Minna.

"I don't want to talk about it," Minna said firmly.

Cat reached over when Laila started to protest.

"When you're ready," Laila settled on saying.

Minna nodded, knowing she was never going to be ready.

"Let's watch something," Jeremy said.

"Movie marathon?" Cat said with a grin.

"Spider-Man?" Laila suggested.

"Sony then Marvel?" Jeremy offered.

The three looked over at Minna, like she knew what they were talking about. She shrugged, and Jeremy grabbed the remote, squeezing between the girls and Minna. He brought his knees up and started looking for the movies.

Minna watched the movies, blankly at first, then she started asking questions like she always did. Laila, spurred on by Minna's growing enthusiasm, started explaining everything eagerly over Jeremy's lap. The captain scrunched down so the shorter goalie and Minna — who was his same height — could talk over his head while he and Alvarez watched.

By the time they'd moved onto the Marvel movies, Minna understood enough that she didn't have to ask too much. The others were content to watch in mostly silence, yelling at the screen and cheering at appropriate moments. Minna didn't pay much attention to the movie, if she was being completely honest.

The movies kept her mind off of the thoughts she'd been thinking before, though. So she watched them, pretending that she'd never thought about the worst parts of her past. She pretended that she'd never been pushing them away and she pretended that she never remembered the screams.

"Minna," Jeremy said, hours later. Her eyes opened, and she realized that at some point she'd fallen asleep and had unconsciously curled closer to the kind person on her left.

He smiled sheepishly as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I gotta go back to my dorm, now," he said. "Sorry. You looked so comfy but I have to get up."

Minna nodded and stood up, putting the blanket on the back of the couch. She waved bye to him and wandered toward the bedroom, where she picked out pajamas and then showered. Her mind flashed to earlier, but then she thought of how they'd handled her. It was the same way the Foxes would have. They knew what to do.

Minna wondered why she had decided to trust Jeremy so much. Was it just because he had the same demeanor as Kevin had — when they were still half people? Was it because he knew what to do? Because he seemed to know how to ground her without having to be told?

Maybe. She wasn't complaining.

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I went for half dialogue this time. Does it work? Are you liking this? Is it poetic enough?