Afraid of the end~ l.s.

Chapter 9

"Do you want to call the boys over?" I ask once we pull up to the house.

Harry nods, calling Liam.

Liam answers the call on the first ring. "Hey Harry, what's up? Are you okay?"

"Um, I'm fine I guess. I have to get admitted tomorrow for chemo and I was wondering if you guys would want to come over today and hang out?"

"Tomorrow? Are you okay?" Liam asks, completing ignoring Harry's question.

"They just want to start as soon as possible. Can we just forget about it for one day though? Before I get anymore sick?"

"Yeah that sounds good. We'll be over in like 10 minutes," Liam says.

"Yeah, okay. We'll see you soon." Harry says gently.

"They're gonna come over in 10 minutes."

"Alright, cool," I say and open my door, going to Harry's side and getting him in the wheelchair and inside.

Harry gets himself inside and to the couch, sitting down. "I'm tired."

"Understandable. That was kind of a lot," I sit down next to him.

Harry nods. "I just don't really know what to do anymore. I don't really understand the whole situation. Why wasn't it this bad before?"

"Well you said you felt sore from working out, or that's what you thought, but that was the cancer. I think you've had it for a little bit but you probably just brushed it off and didn't think anything of it. Until it got worse. I guess it just gradually got worse," I explain.

Harry lays his head on my shoulder. "Are you mad at me for not telling you earlier?"

I lean my head against his, "Not at all. You couldn't have possibly known."

Harry grabs my hand. "Thank you for being supportive. What if you can't stay in the hospital with me?"

"Why wouldn't I be able to?" I wonder.

"I don't know, they might want to keep me alone."

"I don't think they will unless something is really wrong. Which it's not. I wouldn't worry about it," I assure him.

"Good," Harry rubs the top of his chest. "What does a port look like?"

"It's a little circle with a cord attached to it. It's kind of small."

"Cord? Do I have to have it on all the time?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Can you do something for me tonight?"

"What is it?" I ask.

"Can we just pretend that this isn't happening? That I'm not sick?"

"Sure love," I smile softly.

Harry situates himself on the couch. "I really wish I could walk."

"I know. I wish you could too."

"I feel like I'm making you do a lot. I can use the crutches. You won't need to help me then."

"I don't mind helping and I don't want you to use the crutches if it hurts too bad."

"They're okay. It's just kind of scary not to have control of your own body."

"Now that you say it, yeah. It does sound scary," I agreed.

Harry nods, laying down on the couch. "I just hate being like this. I just want to be able to do my own thing."

I rub his leg a bit, "I know love."

Harry tries to silence the wince but of course I notice.

I quickly remove my hand from his leg, "Am I hurting you?"